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Thursday, September 25, 2008

Become Genuinely Interested in Other People

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Do you want do develop real friendships? Do you want to help yourself by helping others? Do you want people to like you?

If so, then read on...

Thus far, in my summary of Dale Carnege's book entitled "How to Win Friends and Influence People", we have explored the

Fundamental Techniques in Handling People

1. Don't criticize, condemn or complain
2. Give honest and sincere appreciation
3. Arouse in the other person an eager want

Now, we move on to the first of six ways to make people like you.

Become Genuinely Interested in Other People

Dale Carnegie notes that "You can make more friends in two months by becoming interested in other people than you can in two years by trying to get other people interested in you."

All of us human beings, want to be admired and respected. That is what motivate corporate executives to climb the corporate ladder, mountain climbers to scale the highest peaks and you and i when we perform our daily routine each and every day.

Besides the desire to be important, each human being is also faced with a multitude of different problems each day. Problems may range from large problems such as facing a serious disease such as cancer to the smallest of problems such as having a bad air day.

The point which i am trying to make is that: each person is generally focused on his or herself, with his or her own problems and objectives. The special individual which is able to put his or her needs aside and focus on the needs on others will be highly regarded and treasured.

Just look at people in society who specialize in focusing on the needs of others. The doctors, nurses and volunteers for various charities and social services. These people are all highly regarded and treasured in the minds of the public in general.

Why?

There is a power when we reach out to other people with a focused and sincere interest, coupled together with a smile.

Take the time to take an active interest in the lives of those around you. Ask, "How was your day today?" People will ultimately remember that you took the time and effort to be interested in their lives and will appreciate you for that.

If you are interested in improving your interpersonal communication skills, you might consider purchasing Dale Carnegie's all time best selling book from Amazon through this link. How to Win Friends and Influence People

If you like this article, you might also enjoy

Fundamental Techniques in Handling People
1. Don't criticize, condemn or complain.
2. Give honest and sincere appreciation.
3. Arouse in the other person an eager want.

Thursday, September 18, 2008

The Power of Positive Reinforcement

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Imagine for one second that you are an employee in the workplace... Which choice do you think will be a better motivating factor to encourage better results? The opportunity for reward for good work produced or punishment for poor results?

As human beings, we prefer to be praised rather than punished. So isn't it natural to assume that praising a person could have a greater impact on changing a person's behaviour as compared to the threat of a punishment? This leads me to The Power of Positive Reinforcement.

So, what is positive reinforcement?

Well, positive reinforcement involves the use of positive signals such as (verbal) encouragement or (tangible) rewards to encourage and reinforce a certain desirable behavior.

This concept has been well established to be effective in animal conditioning. For example, rewarding a dog immediately after performing a correct command makes it much more likely that the dog will perform the action the next time it is requested.

The timing of this positive reinforcement is also critical. Positive messages have much more impact the closer the message is to the event itself.

To take advantage of this fact, remember to praise and reward an action as soon as possible. When your child comes and informs you about his or her good grades, show enthusiasm and be hearty in your praise and lavish in your appreciation.

In the same way in which positive reinforcement encourages positive behavior, negative reinforcement will also unwittingly bring about negative behavior.

Let me elaborate more about negative reinforcement. Imagine a parent who keeps criticizing a child repeatedly. The parent might say, "You're good for nothing." or "You're sure to fail." Such messages only serve to reinforce the image of failure in the child's mind.

Hence, do remember to avoid negative messages and practice the power of positive reinforcement so as to bring more joy and happiness into the lives of others.

If you've enjoyed this post. Do help to spread this message of joy and positivity by helping to bookmark or link it. You might also be interested in giving some honest and sincere appreciation or reading more articles on interpersonal communication.

Thursday, September 11, 2008

Arouse in the Other Person an Eager Want

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Arousing in the Other Person an Eager Want...

What does that mean exactly, and how does it impact interpersonal communication?

We all have our needs and wants. You may be feeling hungry or thirsty and want something to eat or drink. Another person may be feeling sleepy and want to take a nap. You may want to improve your interpersonal communication skills, which is why you are reading this article right now!!!

The point is, we as individual are interested in what we want, but unfortunately, no one else is. In order to win over other people, why talk about what we want? The individual who is able to put the needs of others above his or her own will be able to win the hearts of others.

For example, if you want your children to eat their vegetables for instance, refrain on focusing on what you want, but instead, try focusing on what the other person wants. You could try focusing on what your child is interested in.

For example, if your child likes basketball, try linking the benefits of eating vegetables to growing tall and strong and becoming like LeBron James.

This principle works in business selling as well. People like to "buy" products and not feel like they have been "sold." In order to get people to buy a product, we will need to think from the other person's perspective.

In order to sell better, you will need to imagine how the product will be able to meet the needs of the other person instead of harping aimlessly about the features of what you are trying to sell.

In addition, instead of trying to "sell" your idea to another person, why not let them cook and stir up the idea themselves. By letting them regard the idea as their own, they will definitely be more receptive to whatever you are proposing.

To quote Dale Carnegie: "First arouse in the other person an eager want. He who can do this has the whole world behind him. He who cannot walks a lonely way."

This is the third principle listed within the category of "Fundamental Techniques in Handling People" as mentioned in Dale Carnegie's best selling book, "How to Win Friends and Influence People."

If you are interested, you can check out my post about "Winning Friends and Influencing People."

Saturday, September 6, 2008

Can Money Really Buy Happiness

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This post attempts to provide some much needed insights on the age old question:

"Can money really buy happiness?"

A few months ago, i was having a discussion with my friend about the kind of life we're living in nowadays.

People are working longer hours than ever before and even well educated graduates struggle to afford a decent sized roof over their heads.

(The above statement may not be true for all countries, but it certainly is true for my country where land is scarce.)

We were then wondering, how can poor people survive in that case?

Recently, i just thought of the answer.

People with a lower
earning power simply purchase a smaller apartment from the government.

These people must live in contentment with what they have.

In developed nations, people are working harder and harder, trying to afford bigger houses, and fill them up with more and more expensive stuff. In the process, they spend more time at work and neglect their loved ones in the process thinking that money can bring happiness.

Perhaps the richest person of all is the person that is filled with the abundance of love and joy and happiness, and not the world's richest person.

The bible tells us "For what shall it profit a man, if he shall gain the whole world, and lose his own soul?" What is the use of an abundance of money if all that you have is a host of "false friends" who stick with you in times of riches and success, but leave you at the first signs of trouble.

Perhaps the key to a happier life cannot be bought with common wealth, but generated through a deeper, fuller relationship with your loved ones. Maybe instead of working that extra overtime to earn a few extra dollars, you might consider going home early to spend more time with your family.

Thats where the interpersonal communication tips provided in this blog comes into play. Posts such as How to Win Friends and Influence People will really make a difference in your relationships and hopefully provide part of the key to happiness that everyone is searching for.

Wednesday, September 3, 2008

What is Signposting

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Imagine driving around an unfamiliar urban town. Sounds hard right? Now imagine driving around without the help of signposts to help guide you around.

In the same manner where signposts help motorists get to their desired destination, you can help your audience understand you better by using the technique known as “signposting”.

We all do some signposting in our natural conversation. Phases such as “on the other hand” and “in conclusion” are effective signposts that we use in everyday life.

So, what is signposting anyway?

Signposting is a technique to help people follow the meaning of what you are saying.

They act as guides to help the reader follow what you are saying throughout a conversation, helps in establishing rapport and helps them to categories what you are saying.

Here are more examples of signposting

To Begin Introducing your Point, you might consider starting with...

• I'd like to begin by...
• Let's start by...
• First of all, I'll...
• Starting with...
• To start with...
• I'll begin by...

For Finishing a Topic, try...

• Well, I've finished talking about...
• Well, that's all I have to say about...
• We've considered...
• So much for this subject...

To Start another topic, why not use...

• Now, let us move on to.
• Next, let us consider...
• Turning to...
• Moving on to...
• I would like now to discuss...

Applying Signposting Techniques in a discussion...

• So, where does that lead us?
• Let us consider this in more detail...
• What does this all mean?
• Translated this into real terms...

Giving an example...

• Here’s an example. I was...
• For example,...
• A good example of this is...
• To illustrate,...
• To give you an example,...
• To illustrate this point...
• Let’s consider a hypothetical situation for a moment. If you were to...
• Let me play the devil’s advocate for a moment. What might happen if...

To Summarize and conclude...

• In conclusion,...
• To conclude,...
• So, let's sum up, shall we?
• I would like now to recap...
• Let’s summarize what we’ve covered briefly...
• Finally, let me remind you of some of the issues we've covered...
• To sum up the main points...

To summarize what we’ve covered briefly, signposting is an effective method to help your audience follow what you are saying. Do try to keep it in mind whether you are communicating with a single individual, or to an entire audience. :) If you are interested in this post, you might consider the following posts 1) Signposting Words 2) 10 Attention Grabbers for Better Public Speaking 3) Presentation Tips for the Technical Professional