tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-64460442843793827202024-03-07T03:59:42.730+08:00Better Interpersonal CommunicationLearn more about better interpersonal communication and presentation skillsWenbin Nahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11322971679501228480noreply@blogger.comBlogger94125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6446044284379382720.post-22521111461787810812013-07-21T15:06:00.000+08:002013-07-21T15:07:40.899+08:00Signposting Words<span style="color: #f9cb9c;">'</span><br />
Signposting is an effective method to help your audience follow what you are saying.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhNdRiMhPRE0rOzipZxW69B1-f0RJ0uAtCo1W7wH4no3eBD2OmgO0l2DbPzeTCDMdYkRpfs_qyBn2_ar6gYciRfQ0UG7GBFK4jkt__twnDOOBvk8R7Dmpuh7MoomW7brl1KJLNDfV-yKtk/s1600/signposting.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="132" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhNdRiMhPRE0rOzipZxW69B1-f0RJ0uAtCo1W7wH4no3eBD2OmgO0l2DbPzeTCDMdYkRpfs_qyBn2_ar6gYciRfQ0UG7GBFK4jkt__twnDOOBvk8R7Dmpuh7MoomW7brl1KJLNDfV-yKtk/s200/signposting.jpg" width="200" /></a>In a previous post, "<a href="http://communicatebetter.blogspot.sg/2008/09/what-is-signposting.html">What is Signposting</a>", the concept of signposting was explained, and several examples were provided. In this post, I will be sharing <u>examples of signpost words</u>, which are words that can be used to connect ideas and sentences.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEipFjI2BqMaXaWuqy2Sm9W7Y_aJFC_D8Qw1ywohykKz1hgsOwOeVCzC2JVwndu6YhUd-ZERSX5p3cqICPqDyk0W0C87P9dhF1Gv7wcvAnHiB1Jpa0T1YfXYYyDe1cx7MYXun7GU6Rkjvbg/s1600/signposting+conditional.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="133" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEipFjI2BqMaXaWuqy2Sm9W7Y_aJFC_D8Qw1ywohykKz1hgsOwOeVCzC2JVwndu6YhUd-ZERSX5p3cqICPqDyk0W0C87P9dhF1Gv7wcvAnHiB1Jpa0T1YfXYYyDe1cx7MYXun7GU6Rkjvbg/s200/signposting+conditional.jpg" width="200" /></a><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhH58HOi6DooeYKwxkLNRMyNlDXHjOpD6DmxkJ7DT80qzfL7jr0fidZQ2Ga5TUl5-glya4PpXVk8hfnzQZ7j-PauIymoUsp1hpOdEffXe089WFz-rPCKbLVb70rMtNH1vn6_VUdXLEbRBc/s1600/signposting+teacher.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="133" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhH58HOi6DooeYKwxkLNRMyNlDXHjOpD6DmxkJ7DT80qzfL7jr0fidZQ2Ga5TUl5-glya4PpXVk8hfnzQZ7j-PauIymoUsp1hpOdEffXe089WFz-rPCKbLVb70rMtNH1vn6_VUdXLEbRBc/s200/signposting+teacher.jpg" width="200" /></a></div>
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Signalling <b>Addition -</b> The following words signals addition.<br />
<b>And:</b> We are experiencing cost issues <b>and</b> operational issues.<br />
<b>As well as:</b> We are experiencing cost issues <b>as well as </b>operational issues.<br />
<b>Along with: </b>We experience cost issues <b>along with</b> operational issues.<br />
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Signalling <b>Condition</b> - The following words signals a conditional situation.<br />
<b>Except:</b> He usually works hard <b>except</b> when he is stressed.<br />
<b>If:</b> He would have been successful, <b>if</b> only he works hard.<br />
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Signalling <b>Contrast</b> - The following words signal contrast.<br />
<b>But:</b> He does not work hard<b> but</b> he earns a lot.<br />
<b>However:</b> He works hard, <b>however</b> he does not earn a lot.<br />
<b>Although:</b> He works hard, <b>although </b>he does not earn a lot.<br />
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Signalling <b>Example</b> - The following words signal examples.<br />
<b>Such as:</b> He has many hobbies, <b>such as</b> jogging and swimming<br />
<b>For example:</b> He has many hobbies;<b> for example</b> jogging and swimming.<br />
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Signalling <b>Sequencing</b> - The following words signal a sequence of events.<br />
<b>First:</b> <b>First</b>, I will start by reading the essay, before starting to write.<br />
<b>Before:</b> I need to start preparing<b> before</b> I am ready.<br />
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Signalling <b>Cause</b> - The following words signal causality or the cause.<br />
<b>Because:</b> She needs to eat more <b>because</b> she is pregnant.<br />
<b>As:</b> She needs to ear more <b>as</b> she is pregnant.<br />
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Signalling <b>Result</b> - The following words signal result or effect.<br />
<b>Therefore:</b> He overeats regularly, <b>therefore</b> he is fat.<br />
<b>So: </b>He is fat, <b>so</b> he needs to try to slim down.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgd6j7Rt98T6afjlgftLvN6w7aAxn5YHTIF1J3-rhszSxVEiPMfoHoHKB88LnqlrLo2pUmII0HGBtw-10QC9G6rJNPDS-LERr0fiWJPSfwOeyYr-3X53_ZK_lZQ1jWc1BgPb-5sPUMXYn4/s1600/communcation.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="192" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgd6j7Rt98T6afjlgftLvN6w7aAxn5YHTIF1J3-rhszSxVEiPMfoHoHKB88LnqlrLo2pUmII0HGBtw-10QC9G6rJNPDS-LERr0fiWJPSfwOeyYr-3X53_ZK_lZQ1jWc1BgPb-5sPUMXYn4/s320/communcation.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
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Signposting words are an essential tool in written or verbal communication to help to connect ideas and examples. Do use them regularly to help communicate more clearly.<br />
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If you are interested in this post, you might consider the following posts<br />
1) <a href="http://communicatebetter.blogspot.sg/2008/09/what-is-signposting.html">What is Signposting</a><br />
2) <a href="http://communicatebetter.blogspot.sg/2008/06/10-attention-grabbers-for-better-public.html">10 Attention Grabbers for Better Public Speaking</a><br />
3) <a href="http://communicatebetter.blogspot.com/2008/11/advatages-and-disadvantages-of-written.html">Advantages and Disadvantages of Written and Spoken Communication</a>Wenbin Nahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11322971679501228480noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6446044284379382720.post-51443412899165234962012-06-13T11:07:00.000+08:002012-06-13T11:12:24.725+08:00Book Review: Changing Behavior: Immediately Transform Your Relationships with Easy-to-Learn, Proven Communication Skills<div>
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<b>Title:</b> <a href="http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/0983965994/ref=as_li_tf_tl?ie=UTF8&tag=giftrevi-20&linkCode=as2&camp=1789&creative=9325&creativeASIN=0983965994" rel="nofollow" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;">Changing Behavior: Immediately Transform Your Relationships with Easy-to-Learn, Proven Communication Skills</a><img alt="" border="0" height="1" src="http://www.assoc-amazon.com/e/ir?t=giftrevi-20&l=as2&o=1&a=0983965994" style="border: none !important; margin: 0px !important;" width="1" /><br />
<b>Author: </b>Georgianna Donadio<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjHTasJsxNSe8Nr6WiWCwwJzvT98QHGni0mEzLt9tL6BdceWxebY-Fd7P1toaq_xMMDUjL7TfXKPj6iCMly4FayonfhfPwb7pYVufTCDQLmaFhqnfFVDV2el0J6o4v4V6MHpGgxyd79zVM/s1600/Changing+Behavior+Book+Review.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjHTasJsxNSe8Nr6WiWCwwJzvT98QHGni0mEzLt9tL6BdceWxebY-Fd7P1toaq_xMMDUjL7TfXKPj6iCMly4FayonfhfPwb7pYVufTCDQLmaFhqnfFVDV2el0J6o4v4V6MHpGgxyd79zVM/s320/Changing+Behavior+Book+Review.jpg" width="247" /></a></div>
<b style="font-style: normal;">Content: 8.5/10</b><br />
It offers a practical step-by-step guide, supported by research and proven strategies to enable readers to develop a much more meaningful and effective communication relationship with the people they desire to improve their current relationships with.<br />
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<b style="font-style: normal;">Readability: 8/10</b><br />
The 12 steps of Pure Presence is written in an easy-to-understand manner so that readers can pick up and acquire the skills easily to improve the quality of their communication skills.<br />
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<b style="font-style: normal;">Overall Ranking 16.5/20</b><br />
Overall, <a href="http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/0983965994/ref=as_li_tf_tl?ie=UTF8&tag=giftrevi-20&linkCode=as2&camp=1789&creative=9325&creativeASIN=0983965994" rel="nofollow">Changing Behavior</a> is a good read that offers important and timely advice for people who desire to bring transformation to their relationships, health and happiness as whole.<br />
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At the heart of <a href="http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/0983965994/ref=as_li_tf_tl?ie=UTF8&tag=giftrevi-20&linkCode=as2&camp=1789&creative=9325&creativeASIN=0983965994" rel="nofollow">Changing Behavior</a> is the revolutionary Behavioural Engagement™ model. Developed over the last 30 years in partnership with leading hospitals and medical centers, Behavioural Engagement is the first known whole person health education and health behaviour change model developed, tested and utilized in a clinical setting.</div>
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Here is a summary on how to apply the Behavioral Engagement model with pure presence:</div>
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<b style="font-style: normal;">Step 1:</b><span style="font-weight: normal;"> <i>Be fully and purely present</i> - Remove any forms of distraction prior to the conversation and focus only on entering into a meaningful and effective communication with another person by being receptive, non-judgemental and fully present throughout the entire communication.</span><br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhGz-QlmxjU2BSy9oioAeAbCz5nzV3xwg0wzZ8Yaj-cFDsHhAgX-cVxISc2Bk6oy5d92lgNVHmlzw1CjNlOOfERNVKJD3R-RoU3g0bZ35zNSCC_YYQ-peOAv5RtTrKSjx_0612QkFPYuy8/s1600/constant+eye+contact.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="198" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhGz-QlmxjU2BSy9oioAeAbCz5nzV3xwg0wzZ8Yaj-cFDsHhAgX-cVxISc2Bk6oy5d92lgNVHmlzw1CjNlOOfERNVKJD3R-RoU3g0bZ35zNSCC_YYQ-peOAv5RtTrKSjx_0612QkFPYuy8/s200/constant+eye+contact.jpg" width="200" /></a><b style="font-style: normal;">Step 2:</b><span style="font-weight: normal;"> <i>Be physically comfortable and relaxed</i> - Adopt an upright and centred sitting posture to enable you and the other person to be relaxed and thereby assist you in remaining in pure presence throughout the communication.</span><br />
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<b style="font-style: normal;">Step 3:</b><span style="font-weight: normal;"> <i>Constant eye contact</i> – Maintaining a constant eye contact with the other person can create a physical response in the latter that brings about trust, comfort and safety.</span><br />
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<b style="font-style: normal;">Step 4:</b><span style="font-weight: normal;"> <i>Check your intention</i> – It is recommended to keep your intention or views open, centered and non-judgemental. This will prevent you to trigger that particular emotion or ego from surfacing which cause the conversation s to go off track.</span><br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjv-nhjZ_Jj-nMtXC7Mna6I6F7nemiM-iHGO7r8VJQgdfWx0uZDZ2CGNI1vXrxeP37VUJdfLNJV9nYQjmXpzMd9SqUeIfsxAgC6A4QXRWmTELXdEJ2JRPNo6c6OeBnq8IPasvmlEGSxNII/s1600/listen+with+understanding.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="176" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjv-nhjZ_Jj-nMtXC7Mna6I6F7nemiM-iHGO7r8VJQgdfWx0uZDZ2CGNI1vXrxeP37VUJdfLNJV9nYQjmXpzMd9SqUeIfsxAgC6A4QXRWmTELXdEJ2JRPNo6c6OeBnq8IPasvmlEGSxNII/s200/listen+with+understanding.jpg" width="200" /></a><b style="font-style: normal;">Step 5:</b><span style="font-weight: normal;"> <i>Listen with understanding</i> - Initiate a conversation with a respectful inquiry with the other person and seek to <a href="http://communicatebetter.blogspot.sg/2009/01/three-different-levels-of-listening.html">listen attentively</a> without disruption while the latter respond to your inquiry.</span><br />
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<b style="font-style: normal;">Step 6:</b> <i>Be responsive without injecting </i>– It is ok to node your head, give eyebrow gestures and short responses such as “thanks”, “ah-ha” and so forth to allow the other person continue this talking. It is however not wise to probe, ask questions or interrupt at the wrong juncture.<br />
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<b style="font-style: normal;">Step 7:</b><span style="font-weight: normal;"> <i>Accept the silence between words</i> – Throughout the conversation, there is surely to have moments of short silence between words. During this time of silence, we can visit our subconscious mind and integrate this with our thinking process.</span><br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhVBSe4JyrR_h-R3LVvg2h5bsEGTsyrkaEIdFx3BsqZneIIb-CBL5E2qQrBuk0UEkEt3JJYl6ZIi29lfOSmQi5G7TIeBzar06Wt2LsupQr99xoMvX_cQrQqFGcugboRkVrc8w3zulJGDuw/s1600/Be+patient+with+yourself+and+the+other+person.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="256" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhVBSe4JyrR_h-R3LVvg2h5bsEGTsyrkaEIdFx3BsqZneIIb-CBL5E2qQrBuk0UEkEt3JJYl6ZIi29lfOSmQi5G7TIeBzar06Wt2LsupQr99xoMvX_cQrQqFGcugboRkVrc8w3zulJGDuw/s320/Be+patient+with+yourself+and+the+other+person.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
<b style="font-style: normal;">Step 8:</b><span style="font-weight: normal;"> <i>Be patient with yourself and the other person</i> </span>–<br />
It takes time for people to notice and accept that you do not have an agenda or you are not going to judged them or give advice or suggestions.<br />
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<b style="font-style: normal;">Step 9:</b><span style="font-weight: normal;"> <i>Be honest with your conversation objective</i> </span>–<br />
It is important to have a pure presence intention when entering into a conversation as your intention will become your agenda. By practising this pure presence intention, it will perfect your being-in-the present skills to strengthen your communication skills and relationships.<br />
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<b style="font-style: normal;">Step 10:</b><span style="font-weight: normal;"><i> Use of “I” statements to convey your feelings</i> – Using “I” statements to express your feelings will enable us to own what we feel and thereby showing respect for the other person’s experience.</span><br />
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<b style="font-style: normal;">Step 11:</b><span style="font-weight: normal;"> <i>Allow for discovery</i> – One of the transformational components of Behavioural Engagement™ model is that if you remain true to the model ad stay in your pure presence center, you will make discoveries that will bring about emotional shifts and behavioural change in you. As our behaviours shift, we will achieve a more sustainable change that can have positive long-term results in our lives and relationships.</span><br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj-M8udezgoZ1VOfCcTrpoVPunv1FsvsCFmYA1JYMn0hqB_wpdW-kFAFZBIvMmNWym66FNX-Gf5ZN6qP0Adig_EvJaSkNTECt1i7RHt3eUSbJMQZFuXrjdPt5u-dsamgU8AfmXnd-BVi9U/s1600/Changing+Behavior.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img alt="" border="0" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5753347753513182002" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj-M8udezgoZ1VOfCcTrpoVPunv1FsvsCFmYA1JYMn0hqB_wpdW-kFAFZBIvMmNWym66FNX-Gf5ZN6qP0Adig_EvJaSkNTECt1i7RHt3eUSbJMQZFuXrjdPt5u-dsamgU8AfmXnd-BVi9U/s200/Changing+Behavior.jpg" style="height: 192px; margin-top: 0px; width: 200px;" /></a><b style="font-style: normal;">Step 12:</b><span style="font-weight: normal;"> <i>Keep trying to perfect your skills –</i> Even if you experience some frustrating moments and mind wander during a conversation, you can begin again with the next conversation. It is crucial to be committed t improve the quality of communication in your relationship.</span></div>
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In summary, <a href="http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/0983965994/ref=as_li_tf_tl?ie=UTF8&tag=giftrevi-20&linkCode=as2&camp=1789&creative=9325&creativeASIN=0983965994" rel="nofollow" style="font-size: 100%;">Changing Behavior</a><img alt="" border="0" height="1" src="http://www.assoc-amazon.com/e/ir?t=giftrevi-20&l=as2&o=1&a=0983965994" style="border: none !important; font-size: 100%; margin: 0px !important;" width="1" /> <span style="font-size: 100%;">is a good read that offers important and timely advice for people who desire to bring transformation to their relationships, health and happiness as whole. It offers excellent tips, substantiated by research. It also asks questions to reflect the points back at you. If you are interested in finding out more, do check out the </span><a href="http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/0983965994/ref=as_li_tf_tl?ie=UTF8&tag=giftrevi-20&linkCode=as2&camp=1789&creative=9325&creativeASIN=0983965994" rel="nofollow" style="font-size: 100%;">Amazon.com</a> page <span style="font-size: 100%;">for more reviews.</span></div>
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<br /></div>Wenbin Nahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11322971679501228480noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6446044284379382720.post-76177466404983507222012-06-10T17:11:00.000+08:002012-06-10T17:11:17.914+08:00Book Review: Painting With Numbers - Presenting Financials and Other Numbers So People Will Understand You<span style="color: #ea9999;">'</span><br />
Title: <a href="http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/1118172574/ref=as_li_tf_tl?ie=UTF8&tag=giftrevi-20&linkCode=as2&camp=1789&creative=9325&creativeASIN=1118172574" rel="nofollow">Painting with Numbers: <span style="font-size: x-small;">Presenting Financials and Other Numbers So People Will Understand You</span></a><span style="font-size: x-small;"><img alt="" border="0" height="1" src="http://www.assoc-amazon.com/e/ir?t=giftrevi-20&l=as2&o=1&a=1118172574" style="border: none !important; margin: 0px !important;" width="1" /></span>
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Author: Randall Bolten<br />
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<b>Content: 6.5/10</b><br />
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As the book was targeted towards finance professionals, only half the book (related to report presentation and creating spreadsheets) were relevant to me. However, those parts were timely and well presented.
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<b>Readability: 9/10</b><br />
The emphasis of this book was to present financial numbers so people will understand you. And this book does present its information in a clear and concise manner.<br />
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<b>Overall Ranking 15.5/20</b><br />
The tips that Randall provides are well worth reading. However, I would only recommend to purchase the book to finance professionals involved in financial reporting.<br />
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<b><u>The Good and the Bad</u></b><br />
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<b>The Good:</b> This book is appropriate for executive who are required to present financial information on a routine basis. The first half of the book is also useful for general presentations as well as for the creation of spreadsheets.<br />
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<b>The Bad:</b> I found the latter half the book to be not quite relevant, as presenting a balance sheet and GAAP reporting was not relevant to me.<br />
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<b><u>Summary and Review</u></b><br />
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<a href="http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/1118172574/ref=as_li_tf_tl?ie=UTF8&tag=giftrevi-20&linkCode=as2&camp=1789&creative=9325&creativeASIN=1118172574" rel="nofollow">Painting with Numbers</a><img alt="" border="0" height="1" src="http://www.assoc-amazon.com/e/ir?t=giftrevi-20&l=as2&o=1&a=1118172574" style="border: none !important; margin: 0px !important;" width="1" />
is a book that teaches consultants, accountants and finance professionals to present numbers in a clear and concise manner. Written from the perspective of an ex CFO, it presents timely information as to the proper way by which financial information should be presented.<br />
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Bolten says it best when he says that<i> "reporting is an act of communication, not an act of compliance." </i><br />
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When presentations or reports are not well communicated, the audience is often left either missing the key points, or left confused from a poor choice of words.<br />
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In the best version, the largest </div>
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important numbers stand out visually, </div>
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the commas line up vertically, and it </div>
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mirrors the way we were thought to </div>
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add up numbers. </div>
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The author's points are demonstrated in a clear manner through the use of examples that are easily understandable. In addition, as a book that emphasizes on the clarity of presentation, Randall practices what he preaches by presenting his points in a clear and readable manner.<br />
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Key points are boxed in red as "deadly sins", examples, notes and advice are similarly boxed with their separate colors. The result is clarity and variety as the important information is communicated.<br />
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An example of this can be seen from the example in the picture on the right. Randall presents this example and questions the reader as to which version is the best. The answer is version A. Can you guess why?<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj_NOMZm6SMzKzsknbB3cHQc7QuCjSczc4lrsVZA6q_T3_leKTCJjxOfhJyLsY6wGXjEqD1KDuJejvOpZzTKC2-8QRcVyhLW5r-Jm7deMMorqsSChCX6hyphenhyphenGkbhtVGtIVTXRN_2TzujUHng/s1600/Example+from+Painting+with+Numbers+Deadly+Sin.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="53" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj_NOMZm6SMzKzsknbB3cHQc7QuCjSczc4lrsVZA6q_T3_leKTCJjxOfhJyLsY6wGXjEqD1KDuJejvOpZzTKC2-8QRcVyhLW5r-Jm7deMMorqsSChCX6hyphenhyphenGkbhtVGtIVTXRN_2TzujUHng/s400/Example+from+Painting+with+Numbers+Deadly+Sin.png" width="400" /></a></div>
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The book is divided into three main sections.<br />
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In part 1, "The Rules", Bolten focused on the rules that every report or presentation should follow.<br />
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In part 2, "The Tools", Bolten provides advice using the tools of excel, graphs and PowerPoint to help create your reports.<br />
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In part 3, Bolten puts everything into context of the organization.<br />
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Ultimately, the information presented in "<a href="http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/1118172574/ref=as_li_tf_tl?ie=UTF8&tag=giftrevi-20&linkCode=as2&camp=1789&creative=9325&creativeASIN=1118172574" rel="nofollow">Painting with Numbers</a><img alt="" border="0" height="1" src="http://www.assoc-amazon.com/e/ir?t=giftrevi-20&l=as2&o=1&a=1118172574" style="border: none !important; margin: 0px !important;" width="1" />" could mean the difference between an audience that is able to absorb the content, and an audience that did not understand what you are presenting. Although not the entire book was relevant to me, the parts that were relevant was timely and well presented.Wenbin Nahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11322971679501228480noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6446044284379382720.post-68306056802528956122012-05-02T20:49:00.002+08:002012-06-10T15:42:38.509+08:00How to Use Tone of Voice to Your Advantage<br />
<b><i>'It is not what you say that matters but the manner in which you say it; there lies the secret of the ages.'</i></b><br />
-William Carlos Williams<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiPGw1Rx9lhc4AjJw6_l9OZdCY3exlzz1yzZ_aw5-g54CksfJw9ebrKvrOPyaWCKz_KcFo3yDSRiWjVnYsxitYGMiWkllfGCKVqclBNvcLosjidJL0nRSYPe8S4c1TAbrWvLiu_sJ5Wt_4/s1600/rule+of+7+38+55.png" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="136" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiPGw1Rx9lhc4AjJw6_l9OZdCY3exlzz1yzZ_aw5-g54CksfJw9ebrKvrOPyaWCKz_KcFo3yDSRiWjVnYsxitYGMiWkllfGCKVqclBNvcLosjidJL0nRSYPe8S4c1TAbrWvLiu_sJ5Wt_4/s320/rule+of+7+38+55.png" width="320" /></a></div>
The name <a href="http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/0202309665/ref=as_li_tf_tl?ie=UTF8&tag=giftrevi-20&linkCode=as2&camp=1789&creative=9325&creativeASIN=0202309665" rel="nofollow">Albert Mehrabian</a><img alt="" border="0" height="1" src="http://www.assoc-amazon.com/e/ir?t=giftrevi-20&l=as2&o=1&a=0202309665" style="border: none !important; margin: 0px !important;" width="1" />
probably isn't very familiar to many of us. It should be though, because he is responsible for one of the most quoted findings in the field of human communication.<br />
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Mehrabian was responsible for his discovery that the words used in face-to-face communications account for only 7% of messages received, while body language and vocal tone account for 55% and, 38% respectively.<br />
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This is called <b>the rule of 7/38/55%</b>. Professor Mehrabian's findings are frequently trotted out at personal development seminars, emphasizing the importance of body language and vocal tone over the words which we use.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhoaYODPGkPXTtHZVSxUTdTN1tQ8wvnjITDC7K7qyaIDrGv8OWLWREG_3jdaZF9sSctD8i0iwpcDcMIDYMtM1lGyOWwsKGxO-QbowWA2-zTcGgiTx1NdWfR_CorIzfuFLOBiyiK_aaCifQ/s1600/good+communication.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="150" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhoaYODPGkPXTtHZVSxUTdTN1tQ8wvnjITDC7K7qyaIDrGv8OWLWREG_3jdaZF9sSctD8i0iwpcDcMIDYMtM1lGyOWwsKGxO-QbowWA2-zTcGgiTx1NdWfR_CorIzfuFLOBiyiK_aaCifQ/s200/good+communication.jpg" width="200" /></a>The implication is clear: <u>good communication goes beyond the words you use to convey a message</u>. Speech writers spend hours crafting their speeches to perfection. How many of these dedicated people invest as much time in their presentation skills as they do in their vocabularies? It is clear that <u>top communicators rely far more heavily upon appropriate body language and vocal tone to get their message across more effectively</u> than reciting from a dictionary.<br />
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<b><u>The Science of Speech </u></b><br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhPHZQKCQjrHnY62WlTE9avTqL6srchycSPcjP6q7bz0XRJ3ilnjlIf3CS3fTTkygJ96lCyHHyDqfZZjdMDfV3ejotSQV1W1ZYBEjQHPN8IMAFDamg6HZVqFhcigr2xN_IJ3AxUFdcg_wk/s1600/The+Science+of+Speech.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="188" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhPHZQKCQjrHnY62WlTE9avTqL6srchycSPcjP6q7bz0XRJ3ilnjlIf3CS3fTTkygJ96lCyHHyDqfZZjdMDfV3ejotSQV1W1ZYBEjQHPN8IMAFDamg6HZVqFhcigr2xN_IJ3AxUFdcg_wk/s200/The+Science+of+Speech.jpg" width="200" /></a>Plenty of research has gone in to determining which vocal tones are more pleasing to the human ear. First, a little biology: the tones of the voice originate from the triangular chamber at the upper end of the trachea, or windpipe. The front part of this chamber forms the 'Adam's Apple' visible in men (women have one too, just smaller). The vocal chords are comprised of two strips of tissue that, which, when air is passed through, vibrate to produce a vocal tone (a fascinating YouTube video stroboscopy, or camera view, of the living vocal chords can be <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ajbcJiYhFKY&noredirect=1" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">found here</a>.)<br />
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<b><u>Power of the Pitch</u></b><br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhKZrHK0qfP87CfOacCdIrk8m7mHKtvGB5g-0IIO7IQn-piRLxjocrEnynVsbftK5R_9gmZZkiO3U9z4CMLtcmywPpB_VKKkPROIEtP8RuAmeoHsFHlXQZnKD81MqO7rpPsm7Wmq5mY6fc/s1600/Vocal+Tone+and+Authority.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhKZrHK0qfP87CfOacCdIrk8m7mHKtvGB5g-0IIO7IQn-piRLxjocrEnynVsbftK5R_9gmZZkiO3U9z4CMLtcmywPpB_VKKkPROIEtP8RuAmeoHsFHlXQZnKD81MqO7rpPsm7Wmq5mY6fc/s200/Vocal+Tone+and+Authority.jpg" width="200" /></a>While preferences for particular vocal tones can vary from person to person, there are a few rules that have been revealed through research. For example,<b> lower vocal tones have been shown to generally possess more authority than higher ones</b>.<br />
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According to a study recently published in the Proceedings of the Royal Society of Biological Sciences, vocal pitch (highness and lowness) is perceived to have an effect upon the perception of the leadership capabilities of the speakers. This is shown to be heavily influenced by their gender.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEguOJf9wnWNQiDeHmQOhKnvVgxOeLTVJfN088ZOKkm4KpUaFzlc7NpCTBD7dfNeK1aYAZbY0vGm6nAIkqpVt6GGiONDVVrUm_e7_wRvidtDglcjEkmgUcFmBY2YB4Vv4geqgnS5X-03zh4/s1600/Women+with+higher+pitched+voices+were+perceived+as+more+attractive.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="132" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEguOJf9wnWNQiDeHmQOhKnvVgxOeLTVJfN088ZOKkm4KpUaFzlc7NpCTBD7dfNeK1aYAZbY0vGm6nAIkqpVt6GGiONDVVrUm_e7_wRvidtDglcjEkmgUcFmBY2YB4Vv4geqgnS5X-03zh4/s200/Women+with+higher+pitched+voices+were+perceived+as+more+attractive.jpg" width="200" /></a>Women with higher pitched voices were perceived as more attractive, while those with lower pitches were more socially dominant. Men, on the other hand, who possess lower voices, were perceived as 'more attractive, physically stronger, and socially dominant.'<br />
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<a href="http://medicalxpress.com/news/2011-09-deep-male-voice-women.html" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">Research conducted in 2011</a> linked deep male voices to improved memory in females, while a further study conducted at McMaster University in Ontario discovered voters were more likely to favour candidates with lower voices.<br />
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<b><u>Use your Vocal Tone to become a Better Communicator </u></b><br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiXWMDCUIhL47xfiaJKEJXigrJ6skSIR3ccTKJgOlWuZ6bQmowtAA7MC4563ft-e5_D4VUbHgfSCgB80fzKrSqUHOl9k_V-MlYxe5Fs9FRAKdilnjGRDrCQ0AGYpA-sKQRN3d0k81qpsl8/s1600/Use+your+Vocal+Tone+to+become+a+Better+Communicator.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiXWMDCUIhL47xfiaJKEJXigrJ6skSIR3ccTKJgOlWuZ6bQmowtAA7MC4563ft-e5_D4VUbHgfSCgB80fzKrSqUHOl9k_V-MlYxe5Fs9FRAKdilnjGRDrCQ0AGYpA-sKQRN3d0k81qpsl8/s200/Use+your+Vocal+Tone+to+become+a+Better+Communicator.jpg" width="200" /></a></div>
The use of body language is one thing, but how can we work on how we use vocal tones to become better communicators? Salespeople are adept at this. Whether it's a telemarketer calling to <a href="http://www.money.co.uk/credit-cards.htm" target="_blank">compare credit cards</a>, a charity collector on the street, a shop assistant or salesperson, many people involved in sales implement these skills instinctively.<br />
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Used in both your personal and professional life, there's no escaping the fact that developing an excellent use of vocal tone will pay dividends. <a href="http://www.impactcommunicationsinc.com/pdf/nwsltr_2001/ICINwsltrph0106.pdf" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">Judith Filek of Impact Communications</a> suggests some ingenious techniques for improving the tone of your voice:<br />
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1. Ensure you are breathing from the diaphragm, which is the muscle beneath your rib cage. Shallow breathing will make your voice sound strained.<br />
2. Make sure you drink plenty of water all day to keep your vocal chords properly lubricated.<br />
3. Ensure you limit your intake of caffeine as it is a diuretic.<br />
4. Sit up straight: posture not only influences your voice, but also your confidence.<br />
5. Use gestures to energize your voice. This will help give your voice added power when you are tired. Smiling also helps 'warm' your voice.<br />
6. Record your voice. This is a particularly illuminating technique for some!<br />
7. Try speaking at a slightly lower octave, as research has shown that those who speak at a lower octave are often presumed to have more credibility.<br />
8. Don't be afraid to ask for feedback on your vocal tone.<br />
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If you are interested in this post, you might consider the following posts<br />
1) <a href="http://communicatebetter.blogspot.com/2008/07/first-impressions.html">First Impressions</a><br />
2) <a href="http://communicatebetter.blogspot.com/2008/07/how-to-make-great-first-impression.html">How to Make a Great First Impression</a><br />
3) <a href="http://communicatebetter.blogspot.com/2008/11/advatages-and-disadvantages-of-written.html">Advantages and Disadvantages of Written and Spoken Communication</a>Wenbin Nahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11322971679501228480noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6446044284379382720.post-85798668090293046932012-04-05T14:43:00.021+08:002012-06-10T15:37:59.132+08:00Use Your Head To Communicate Effectively<span style="color: #ffcc99;">'</span> <a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjkt1pIC-uIq18AtxBqVqvpyCODhWTytYI1IrHRS1hwBHwdg2bVHl6Ux0MYNuVJnFFgcHMxuW_nqaSWRqvZVgLy-qaKoJu6tuu56cPjO8a19YiNprXeqDDRGgZg5xhCOfaSWdhLdTpGFFU/s1600/interpersonal+communication+at+coffee+shop.bmp"></a><br />
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjXn6C4qJaqh6wYE6EprWIlQgX6HX0VPeuKwLSgHugkd4OzepOF7bvKUf1RjshFNsqOiXdu35F2wvz4fTh1wVCKnWcwjRggrKlDPnEknXVhC1PRoDbTaGh8SEuS4Oljy01t209g0_nUgg0/s1600/pretty+girl+leaving+coffee+shop.jpg"><img alt="" border="0" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5727816568041755602" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjXn6C4qJaqh6wYE6EprWIlQgX6HX0VPeuKwLSgHugkd4OzepOF7bvKUf1RjshFNsqOiXdu35F2wvz4fTh1wVCKnWcwjRggrKlDPnEknXVhC1PRoDbTaGh8SEuS4Oljy01t209g0_nUgg0/s200/pretty+girl+leaving+coffee+shop.jpg" style="cursor: hand; float: right; height: 219px; margin: 0px 0px 10px 10px; width: 149px;" /></a>Effective communication includes an awareness of <u>not only what you say</u>, but also <u>how you say it</u>.<br />
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However, another important tool of communication is <strong>body language</strong>. We all know that actions speak louder than words. Our bodies give away signals of how we feel, what our true intentions are, and what we’re not saying. So we may be sitting on a crowded <a href="http://www.sofasandsectionals.com/sectionals">sectional sofa</a> during a family gathering without saying a word, yet communicating clearly to anyone who glances over.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjZh84snHgvDfZPkI2XachZHbKbcU1dTu0X2kjMsBeKhqn47OOY_J05b9pN83iN_m3Q1VZoJDwmChvAE7Ttx6FD37NqU3tuXsEdWhIeddNkqbUryG18IdEKDc1t4aa0PxAXlIO6XaVHkuU/s1600/interpersonal+communication+at+coffee+shop.bmp"></a>Gestures and body language are <u>so ingrained</u> that we <u>take them for granted</u>. We are almost unaware of behaviors such as tapping a pen, stroking the side of our noses or yawning. Yet, the fact that such behavior is <u>virtually unconscious</u> makes it a <u>real clue</u> to what we’re <u>really thinking and feeling</u>.<br />
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<strong>Mixed Messages of Head Gestures </strong><br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgxpaY40eBBXCZfSR0GfzM3XGLNNPYonDFp90xxwCszZzdxOSulxdYcButNhIJVJj_hrpTXpN3_7cMouAczhuAG0E_3YetvBuDret1L4XPslVg-QheG_gqIcXE1TB9bEiwcnLz7-z7E1N4/s1600/Mixed+Messages+of+Head+Gestures.jpg"><img alt="" border="0" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5727809782445099186" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgxpaY40eBBXCZfSR0GfzM3XGLNNPYonDFp90xxwCszZzdxOSulxdYcButNhIJVJj_hrpTXpN3_7cMouAczhuAG0E_3YetvBuDret1L4XPslVg-QheG_gqIcXE1TB9bEiwcnLz7-z7E1N4/s200/Mixed+Messages+of+Head+Gestures.jpg" style="cursor: hand; float: right; height: 199px; margin: 0px 0px 10px 10px; width: 200px;" /></a>When looking at effective communication then, we need to examine what our body language is saying to others. Even some of the most basic gestures, such as nodding our heads can give <u>mixed messages</u>.<br />
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In most cultures, when we want to say “yes” or show agreement, we nod our heads. This action comes from bowing; the person symbolically begins to bow, but stops short, resulting in a nod. Bowing is one of the most submissive gestures and the head nod stemming from this indicates that we are going along with the other person’s point of view. Allan and Barbara Pease, authors of <a href="http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/0553804723/ref=as_li_qf_sp_asin_tl?ie=UTF8&tag=giftrevi-20&linkCode=as2&camp=1789&creative=9325&creativeASIN=0553804723" rel="nofollow">The Definitive Book of Body Language</a><img alt="" border="0" height="1" src="http://www.assoc-amazon.com/e/ir?t=giftrevi-20&l=as2&o=1&a=0553804723" style="border: none !important; margin: 0px !important;" width="1" /> (2004, Orion), states that research conducted with “<em>people who were born deaf, dumb and blind shows that they also use this gesture to signify ’Yes’, so it appears to be an inborn gesture of submission.</em>”<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEijK_xInSMkz7WYeDTqJGJDLxQxIGBN43oF5JSr-mu0fvGfhCi4KO9wYCkLLWxiUbdHSiCEuKEkGKNqkBYS5nKughIAN4NECz-MAenFqNk1YY8I7S4FpM6FPmy18lwVtzilr48cSQUcsWQ/s1600/yes+in+different+cultures.gif"><img alt="" border="0" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5727811086559919698" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEijK_xInSMkz7WYeDTqJGJDLxQxIGBN43oF5JSr-mu0fvGfhCi4KO9wYCkLLWxiUbdHSiCEuKEkGKNqkBYS5nKughIAN4NECz-MAenFqNk1YY8I7S4FpM6FPmy18lwVtzilr48cSQUcsWQ/s320/yes+in+different+cultures.gif" style="cursor: hand; float: right; height: 220px; margin: 0px 0px 10px 10px; width: 258px;" /></a>It’s easy to assume then, that a head nod means “yes” the world over. However, in India, the head is rocked from side to side to say “yes”, a gesture that most Westerners would associate with “either – or” or “maybe yes, maybe no”. Furthermore, in Japan, head nodding can be misinterpreted; it doesn’t necessarily mean “Yes, I agree with you”, it usually means “Yes, I hear what you’re saying.” Be aware too that in Arab counties, a single, upward head movement means “no”, whereas Bulgarians shake their heads to mean “yes” rather than “no”.<br />
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<strong>Using the Power of the Head Nod as a Tool of Persuasion </strong><br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgphK1n84LmNLuvdCHoRT0SZljOVohHwMWiVpECobs5MUwyrPCJXX-vcUKKbSJQ_fNNHZ3zEpkHuArdkag0W6l_w_qTCt0dQdQfWGqR-EkYJknvv0-EZiWiFXijPDgzxNNFBbDN2qZaQIQ/s1600/head+nod.bmp"><img alt="" border="0" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5727812006706425586" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgphK1n84LmNLuvdCHoRT0SZljOVohHwMWiVpECobs5MUwyrPCJXX-vcUKKbSJQ_fNNHZ3zEpkHuArdkag0W6l_w_qTCt0dQdQfWGqR-EkYJknvv0-EZiWiFXijPDgzxNNFBbDN2qZaQIQ/s320/head+nod.bmp" style="cursor: hand; float: right; height: 230px; margin: 0px 0px 10px 10px; width: 163px;" /></a>Once you are clear about the meaning of the head nod, head wobble and head shake, consider <strong><u>the power of head nodding as a tool of </u><a href="http://communicatebetter.blogspot.com/2009/06/art-of-persuasion.html">persuasion</a></strong>. Pease and Pease cite research showing that “<em>people will talk three to four times more than usual when the listener nods their head using groups of three nods at regular intervals.</em>” The speed of the head nod is a clue to how patient the listener is feeling. “<em>Slow nodding communicates that the listener is interested in what the speaker is saying so give slow, deliberate clusters of three head nods when the other person is making a point,</em>” they say.<br />
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On the other hand, if you want to tell a speaker that you’ve heard enough, want them to finish, or want a turn to speak yourself, it’s time to start nodding quickly. This is a way to interrupt and get involved in a conversation or bring it back under your control without using words.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhPRs_KmndymQPln1t-JpP9faoaJRZVkXDyo1ESi4K72H8qQthSXP_Rw6bO3PTL9d-t2hbo4zBWqG4V5hTrBVmwyFTdgMwsQnnzi32_m0zjdfYNXjSosfYhZAofIay4oVgavz-3eUBVHos/s1600/yes+head+nod.jpg"><img alt="" border="0" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5727814328245160802" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhPRs_KmndymQPln1t-JpP9faoaJRZVkXDyo1ESi4K72H8qQthSXP_Rw6bO3PTL9d-t2hbo4zBWqG4V5hTrBVmwyFTdgMwsQnnzi32_m0zjdfYNXjSosfYhZAofIay4oVgavz-3eUBVHos/s200/yes+head+nod.jpg" style="cursor: hand; float: right; height: 128px; margin: 0px 0px 10px 10px; width: 200px;" /></a>“<em>Body language is an unconscious outward reflection of inner feelings</em>” say Pease and Pease, so if someone’s head is nodding as they speak, it is a sign that they are feeling positive or affirmative. It iss even the case that “<em>if you simply start nodding your head intentionally, you will begin to experience positive feelings</em>”, almost as if agreeing with yourself generates as much feel-good factor as someone else agreeing with your point of view.<br />
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<strong>Conclusions and Recommendations </strong><br />
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Because head nodding is very contagious, it is an <u>excellent tool for creating rapport</u>, encouraging agreement and getting co-operation. Pease and Pease have found that if someone “<em>nods their head at you, you will usually nod too – even if you don’t necessarily agree with what they are saying.</em>” They recommend finishing your sentences with verbal affirmations like “<em>don’t you think?</em>”, “<em>isn’t it?</em>”, or “<em>wouldn’t you?</em>”, plus <strong>plenty of nodding</strong>. In this way the listener experiences positive feelings which increase the chances of their agreeing with you. Clearly, if you want to get co-operation from other people, it’s time to start using your head.<br />
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If you are interested in this post, you might consider the following posts<br />
1) <a href="http://communicatebetter.blogspot.com/2009/07/persuasion-tactics-simplified.html">Persuasion Tactics Simplified</a><br />
2) <a href="http://communicatebetter.blogspot.com/2008/12/social-situations-and-small-talk.html">Social Situations and Small Talk</a><br />
3) <a href="http://communicatebetter.blogspot.com/2009/04/improve-your-communication-skills.html">Improve Your Communication Skills</a>Wenbin Nahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11322971679501228480noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6446044284379382720.post-66648801054189101032011-07-23T19:55:00.004+08:002012-06-11T12:18:18.745+08:00Its not what happens to you, but what you do about it<span style="color: #ffcc99;">'</span><br />
Its not what happens to you, but what you do about it that matters!<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj3NqYj7wyB8JsHNChyphenhypheni8ZOlN8lHuEB4W9AE6qtCFLXZqq74fNI8Qp-pP3xvcvm5esexma9mD0i4jkmVp76zml9l8S2F2kN5oam6jf7-i8vG4H4g01SiOI0_0HSrjR7JLRKFePOyIpNG6E/s1600/setbacks+in+our+lives.jpg"><img alt="" border="0" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5622409798677008610" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj3NqYj7wyB8JsHNChyphenhypheni8ZOlN8lHuEB4W9AE6qtCFLXZqq74fNI8Qp-pP3xvcvm5esexma9mD0i4jkmVp76zml9l8S2F2kN5oam6jf7-i8vG4H4g01SiOI0_0HSrjR7JLRKFePOyIpNG6E/s320/setbacks+in+our+lives.jpg" style="cursor: pointer; float: right; height: 166px; margin: 0pt 0pt 10px 10px; width: 252px;" /></a>Each of us encounters setbacks in our lives. It might be big, such as the loss of a loved one, or it might be small. However, its not what happens to you that matters. What matters is what you do about it.<br />
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<span style="font-weight: bold;">Overcoming The Odds:<br />An Example</span><br />
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Take for instance the example of Oscar Pistorius. He is a double amputee, which means that he had both of his lower legs amputated. To each and every one of us, I’m sure; this would be a tremendous setback that would eclipse any problems that you or I might be facing right now.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgJtcQxK69DiPd4keRgd2eBCBovV-PEnCcGf3N6XFexPLJIL7XWWffVo1v6q_ZZbD0hiXrCrc1DnVHzFRx-qDjzW6-ljLoM2JrHcttzORowYx_KPawaCqfHo-BZQGw0K2XUQvRQAUJE8zU/s1600/OSCAR+PISTORIUS.jpg"><img alt="" border="0" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5622408712285709650" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgJtcQxK69DiPd4keRgd2eBCBovV-PEnCcGf3N6XFexPLJIL7XWWffVo1v6q_ZZbD0hiXrCrc1DnVHzFRx-qDjzW6-ljLoM2JrHcttzORowYx_KPawaCqfHo-BZQGw0K2XUQvRQAUJE8zU/s320/OSCAR+PISTORIUS.jpg" style="cursor: pointer; float: right; height: 180px; margin: 0pt 0pt 10px 10px; width: 260px;" /></a>One might expect someone like him to feel dejected about his life, about how he was dealt an unfair hand in the game of life. But did he wallow in self pity? <span style="font-weight: bold;">No, he didn’t</span>. Today, he is a world class athlete who holds numerous world records in track and field and is currently attempting to qualify for the Olympics.<br />
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If someone like him, who has lost 2 of his limbs, can achieve something so exceptional, certain you or I, who are complete in body and mind, is <span style="font-weight: bold;">capable of achieving so much more</span>.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiF8r0HcsxS_ep3SupZ-SRqNzoHquQjlabqrn2QaSm7Y9lsyDwr4AvIxwmAStfKJqHnCIo-NCffddakKwotVMnw0lG9PfF6fbqB9bhznJF98GIIQvyE2eO1Ba0gjrndHb7izTrF1DSX968/s1600/downward+spiral+of+despair.png"><img alt="" border="0" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5622410628094206338" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiF8r0HcsxS_ep3SupZ-SRqNzoHquQjlabqrn2QaSm7Y9lsyDwr4AvIxwmAStfKJqHnCIo-NCffddakKwotVMnw0lG9PfF6fbqB9bhznJF98GIIQvyE2eO1Ba0gjrndHb7izTrF1DSX968/s320/downward+spiral+of+despair.png" style="cursor: pointer; float: right; height: 125px; margin: 0pt 0pt 10px 10px; width: 156px;" /></a>When we face setbacks, we might feel sorry for ourselves, feel angry or negative about it, or try to escape from the problem by resorting to alcohol. However, would something like that solve the problem? No, it wouldn’t. That would only exacerbate the problem and lead us down a downward spiral of despair.<br />
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Other people might do nothing and try to forget the problem. Well, you know the saying, “<span style="font-style: italic;">Nothing ventured, nothing gained.</span>”<br />
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<span style="font-weight: bold;">What We should Do<br /></span><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhQHhvi6VwCeG5TMVA5W0HehXoE0IAiHQJkAK-MFUm3RpTOM1_jHoKIHaSw2-mqCBTKtdTeWPn8cweJn-4OivUiZOIXQsXnb_7_knV3hv_upjaevJEyl9UubHuCUOSP0d6rjenhv2crIjs/s1600/turn+the+problem+into+a+source+of+strength.jpg"><img alt="" border="0" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5622411665278534290" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhQHhvi6VwCeG5TMVA5W0HehXoE0IAiHQJkAK-MFUm3RpTOM1_jHoKIHaSw2-mqCBTKtdTeWPn8cweJn-4OivUiZOIXQsXnb_7_knV3hv_upjaevJEyl9UubHuCUOSP0d6rjenhv2crIjs/s320/turn+the+problem+into+a+source+of+strength.jpg" style="cursor: pointer; float: right; height: 175px; margin: 0pt 0pt 10px 10px; width: 235px;" /></a>What we should do is to <u><span style="font-weight: bold;">turn the problem</span> into a <span style="font-weight: bold;">source of </span></u><u><span style="font-weight: bold;">strength</span></u>. Its not what happens to you that matters, what matters is what you do about it. Instead of moaning or grumbling, what we should do is to use the problem as a source of motivation to improve upon the situation.<br />
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For instance, there was this instance where I was given negative feedback about my personality. I was told that I was too cold, aloof and impersonal with people. Was I upset about it? You bet I was. However, after doing some self introspection, I felt that the feedback that I received was true. I can’t change the past. What has happened has already happened and can’t be changed.<br />
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Instead of feeling sorry for myself and doing nothing, what I could do was to try to<span style="font-weight: bold;"> </span><u><span style="font-weight: bold;">change the future</span> and<span style="font-weight: bold;"> improve myself</span></u>. This motivated me to try to improve upon my interpersonal communication skills by joining more social activities such as Toastmasters International, a public speaking organization, and by reading and researching more about interpersonal communication in general. One great book about the subject is <a href="http://communicatebetter.blogspot.com/2008/08/how-to-win-friends-and-influence-people.html">How to Win Friends and Influence People</a> by <a href="http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ASIN/0671027034/giftrevi-20%20">Dale Carnegie</a>. Today, I can confidently say that I am a better person as a result of this incident.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiybH2ppcUkLbIcqEf8xMEVlJ-W2J76EqXx8WzJsA06iA66XiMWpuIpwMrBo-dUrJtpjNBLsUiTZoVNgi9J0A10dwVi4VjAP7utMXz5AB1LTwgHCfa8D_HZ7yT5jmAgbqFNYMfrF2ZZgC8/s1600/make+a+positive+change.jpg"><img alt="" border="0" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5622415199651484098" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiybH2ppcUkLbIcqEf8xMEVlJ-W2J76EqXx8WzJsA06iA66XiMWpuIpwMrBo-dUrJtpjNBLsUiTZoVNgi9J0A10dwVi4VjAP7utMXz5AB1LTwgHCfa8D_HZ7yT5jmAgbqFNYMfrF2ZZgC8/s320/make+a+positive+change.jpg" style="cursor: pointer; float: right; height: 160px; margin: 0pt 0pt 10px 10px; width: 188px;" /></a>To reiterate the main point of this passage, <u>its not what happens to you, but what you do about it that matters</u>. We can’t change the past, but we still <a href="http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ASIN/1567182828/giftrevi-20">have the power to shape our own destinies</a>. We can choose how we want to handle our setbacks. Instead of wallowing in self pity, why not <span style="font-weight: bold;">use it as a source of motivation and strength</span> and <span style="font-weight: bold;">make a positive change</span> for the better. You will become a better person if you choose to put your mind into it.Wenbin Nahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11322971679501228480noreply@blogger.com10tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6446044284379382720.post-29506868707429814152011-01-02T20:17:00.004+08:002011-01-02T20:22:55.874+08:00Recognise your Strengths<span style="color: rgb(255, 204, 204);">'<br /></span><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiyI9q5BtByRplGpRJkV3YPI82NC_mWeF73a6tZv_goxXTqrbMfllppmDzJYlEzC9WikPe9Plk7Sj9mKd0wuy2zpwUe1Ykw1ozbiFVZVNc_zfD3zsNm-Z_XjqgGtbR0cGIBFHuZr6mo6ec/s1600/water+bearer.jpg"><img style="float: right; margin: 0pt 0pt 10px 10px; cursor: pointer; width: 270px; height: 265px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiyI9q5BtByRplGpRJkV3YPI82NC_mWeF73a6tZv_goxXTqrbMfllppmDzJYlEzC9WikPe9Plk7Sj9mKd0wuy2zpwUe1Ykw1ozbiFVZVNc_zfD3zsNm-Z_XjqgGtbR0cGIBFHuZr6mo6ec/s320/water+bearer.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5557556313286342258" border="0" /></a>Consider this story<br /><br />A water bearer in China had two large pots hung on the ends of a pole, which he carried across his neck. One of the pots had a crack in it, while the other pot was perfect.<br /><br />At the end of the long walk from the stream to the house, the perfect pot would always be full of water, but the cracked pot would arrive only half full.<br /><br />For two years, this went on every day, with the bearer delivering only one and a half pots of water to his house. Of course, the perfect pot was proud of its accomplishments. But the poor and cracked pot was ashamed of its own imperfection and miserable that it was able to accomplish only half of what it had been made to do.<br /><br />After two years of perceived bitter failure, the cracked pot spoke to the water bearer one day by the stream. "<span style="font-style: italic;">I am ashamed of myself, because this crack in my side causes water to leak out all the way back to your house.</span>"<br /><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgg5ymEXpGiM2glUphgS-lxdQ8Zlp2d0hzHFIMCkIb96b4r6jDChWrSQVmhA7x7BvJ2O3-lOXaQ9fyXO083bchsQr3xmSdvvSa68B9yfONxmfGAjkbgYfcsG90edfVQDWwu70qMPGeQSO0/s1600/path+of+flowers.jpg"><img style="float: right; margin: 0pt 0pt 10px 10px; cursor: pointer; width: 205px; height: 181px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgg5ymEXpGiM2glUphgS-lxdQ8Zlp2d0hzHFIMCkIb96b4r6jDChWrSQVmhA7x7BvJ2O3-lOXaQ9fyXO083bchsQr3xmSdvvSa68B9yfONxmfGAjkbgYfcsG90edfVQDWwu70qMPGeQSO0/s320/path+of+flowers.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5557559546465074722" border="0" /></a>The bearer replied to the pot, "<span style="font-style: italic;">Did you notice tha</span><span style="font-style: italic;">t there are flowers on your side of the path, but not on the other pot's side? That's because I have always known about your flaw, so i planted flower seeds on your side of your path, and everyday while we walk back, you water them. For two years, I have been able to pick these beautiful flowers. Without you being the way you are, there would not be this beauty and grace in this house.</span>"<br /><br />Think about what makes you unique in this world! What you perceive as a flaw might be seen by others as an asset. It might be your slightly crooked smile or corny jokes which warm other people up or your abnormal height that makes you a great basketball player. Do not neglect in counting the positives that make you who you are!<br /><br />Remember that <span style="font-weight: bold;">everybody has their strengths</span>. Inspite of how bad you might think of yourself, <u>you are special, unique and one of a kind</u>. Recognise your strengths, trust in your abilities and succeed in life.<br /><br />On the flip side, do recognise that even the weakest individual is better than you or me in some way or another. It may be intelligence or kindness or generosity or even grace.<br /><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiNk3cbZwl8cQT9ykSmAsOxK-L-HA2RrmL6ZIkFFquH26GzKu3Omy1raYAUTzeiC-BKjlpwuz5CKMMBkugOn5DgQfdnS27RURTfEJzzV7qX1tWWi8bcovYYmeJtFTjPEbpZCk1jR5wMz8g/s1600/father+and+son.jpg"><img style="float: right; margin: 0pt 0pt 10px 10px; cursor: pointer; width: 200px; height: 200px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiNk3cbZwl8cQT9ykSmAsOxK-L-HA2RrmL6ZIkFFquH26GzKu3Omy1raYAUTzeiC-BKjlpwuz5CKMMBkugOn5DgQfdnS27RURTfEJzzV7qX1tWWi8bcovYYmeJtFTjPEbpZCk1jR5wMz8g/s320/father+and+son.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5557560656033907282" border="0" /></a><a href="http://freefamousquotes.blogspot.com/2009/01/ralph-waldo-emerson-profile-and-quotes.html">Emerson</a> once said: “<span style="font-style: italic;">Every man is my superior in some way. In that, I learn of him.</span>"<br /><br />Almost every man you meet feels himself superior to you in some way, and a sure way to win a person's heart is to let him or her realize that in some subtle way, you recognize his importance in his little world, and recognize it sincerely.<br /><br />For more motivational quotes, check out this page of <a href="http://freefamousquotes.blogspot.com/2008/07/motivational-quotes.html">Motivational Quotes</a>.<br />Check out this page for <a href="http://communicatebetter.blogspot.com/2008/08/how-to-win-friends-and-influence-people.html">tips on how to win friends and influence people</a>.Wenbin Nahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11322971679501228480noreply@blogger.com13tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6446044284379382720.post-86270702040323356162010-10-12T14:46:00.020+08:002010-11-20T11:01:11.103+08:00Presenting with Visual Aids<span style="color: rgb(255, 204, 153);">'<br /></span><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhWFbFo3AEoKU-dc1ApxgqdPpIzQD-4cCgzTVYCE8Q_pDByTUBiP9wUWcNWizjMwdX9zS1EIEl5ExdCVV9PUxfBKJbebpi-Z746_HpvccqMI07kibu4xWcZ0QiayyW7iq3FIet80tgOn48/s1600/Visual+Aids+used+in+Presentations.jpg"><img style="float: right; margin: 0pt 0pt 10px 10px; cursor: pointer; width: 200px; height: 193px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhWFbFo3AEoKU-dc1ApxgqdPpIzQD-4cCgzTVYCE8Q_pDByTUBiP9wUWcNWizjMwdX9zS1EIEl5ExdCVV9PUxfBKJbebpi-Z746_HpvccqMI07kibu4xWcZ0QiayyW7iq3FIet80tgOn48/s200/Visual+Aids+used+in+Presentations.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5539083154530384098" border="0" /></a>The visual aid is an invaluable tool which should be utilised in a presentation.<br /><br />Remember that over 70% of communication is non-verbal. Hence, visual aids can definately help to enhance the quality of a presentation.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">What are Visual Aids?</span><br />Visual aids are materials which you can use during a presentation to help your listener understand, accept and be motivated by what you have to say.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">You should use visual aids when you need to</span><br />1) Focus the audience's attention<br />2) Reinforce your verbal message<br />3) Stimulate Interest<br />4) Illustrate factors that are hard to visualise<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">You should NEVER use visual aids to</span><br />1) Impress your audience with overly detailed tables or graphs<br />2) Avoid interaction with your audience<br />3) Present simple ideas that can be more easily stated verbally<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Examples of Visual Aids</span><br />Examples that can be used to enhance a presentation include:<br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi7nMEcNm-oSv4NR_AEFnGCRiZjw6RzoMCx_eCfoSqN_uwj7K8yYWa4X25R8DxlQJGWf4PMS46t3jlhltlDgamjgK3nfzplSpCTBEXtOGZHXABtJhQ5Yerc9lkP9NAIk318HO4h_XS1u94/s1600/projector+presentation.jpg"><img style="float: right; margin: 0pt 0pt 10px 10px; cursor: pointer; width: 144px; height: 144px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi7nMEcNm-oSv4NR_AEFnGCRiZjw6RzoMCx_eCfoSqN_uwj7K8yYWa4X25R8DxlQJGWf4PMS46t3jlhltlDgamjgK3nfzplSpCTBEXtOGZHXABtJhQ5Yerc9lkP9NAIk318HO4h_XS1u94/s200/projector+presentation.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5541315917632755378" border="0" /></a>1) Computer-based visuals such as Powerpoint<br />2) Overhead transparencies<br />3) Flipcharts<br />4) Whiteboards<br />5) Props<br />6) Video<br />7) Photographs<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Some questions to ask yourself when you make a presentation are</span><br />1) Are your visual aids appropriate for the speech and message that you are trying to convey?<br />2) Do the visual aids help you to carry your point across?<br />3) Are my visual aids simple, clear and concise?<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhMtzXVGfLD8EmMRmrH82ZKPmH_5oivuD7AxyyTYZWIbT7K2MjkwLAFrGQUFBZlJo8SvJMAeAMTudch91XazaBuKChQEB1kHoiXOsr2DpPgwEZatYLLTPh9N1NMw9DbDESKfngLeLWIl9I/s1600/presentation+with+television.jpg"><img style="float: right; margin: 0pt 0pt 10px 10px; cursor: pointer; width: 200px; height: 150px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhMtzXVGfLD8EmMRmrH82ZKPmH_5oivuD7AxyyTYZWIbT7K2MjkwLAFrGQUFBZlJo8SvJMAeAMTudch91XazaBuKChQEB1kHoiXOsr2DpPgwEZatYLLTPh9N1NMw9DbDESKfngLeLWIl9I/s200/presentation+with+television.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5539083257163468050" border="0" /></a><span style="font-weight: bold;">Some addition presentation tips from my own experience are</span><br />1) Be careful not to block your visual aids when you make your presentation.<br />2) Do arrive earlier beore hand to check the working condition of the electronic equipment such as computers, projectors and microphones.<br />3) Visual aids are good, but you can make a good presentation great by integrating effective body gestures in your presentation.<br />4) Use more layman terms to elaborate your points. When you are presenting, there is a tendency to use jargan within your speech.<br />5) Do add a personal touch to your speech. You can do this by providing examples that the audience can relate to.<br /><br />Here are some addition resources and tips for a better presentation<br /><a href="http://communicatebetter.blogspot.com/2008/04/3-simplest-steps-to-better-vocal.html">The 3 Simplest Steps to a Better Vocal Presentation</a><br /><a href="http://communicatebetter.blogspot.com/2008/06/10-attention-grabbers-for-better-public.html">10 Attention Grabbers for Better Public Speaking</a><br /><a href="http://communicatebetter.blogspot.com/2008/05/public-speaking-via-audience-centered.html">Public Speaking Via An Audience Centered Approach</a><br /><a href="http://communicatebetter.blogspot.com/2008/06/presentation-tips.html">Presentation Tips</a>Wenbin Nahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11322971679501228480noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6446044284379382720.post-24295613206182449242010-10-04T07:51:00.008+08:002010-10-05T16:16:06.595+08:00How a Complement can turn into an Insult - Communication Process<span style="color: rgb(255, 204, 153);">'<br /></span><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEifRb4TqZ5yz64jzW9YtelU01OLAxfPL8g6v9zyBg8Ss8QhBENfgyv7Lp7wWCSFqyTQsY_C9hXq1lZfH0s1PvrZbGQrqmm9Gz6CigX8XF7c2eR6l0jUNxXbjuXv9aVGx4Z-xGlO_fsIzj8/s1600/girl+thinking.jpg"><img style="float: right; margin: 0pt 0pt 10px 10px; cursor: pointer; width: 236px; height: 175px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEifRb4TqZ5yz64jzW9YtelU01OLAxfPL8g6v9zyBg8Ss8QhBENfgyv7Lp7wWCSFqyTQsY_C9hXq1lZfH0s1PvrZbGQrqmm9Gz6CigX8XF7c2eR6l0jUNxXbjuXv9aVGx4Z-xGlO_fsIzj8/s200/girl+thinking.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5524464145811242930" border="0" /></a><u>Interpersonal communication is indeed a tricky thing to manage</u>. Messages are frequently distorted though the <a href="http://communicatebetter.blogspot.com/2008/07/understanding-communication-process.html">communication process</a>, such that even an intended complement might even turn into an unintentional insult.<br /><br />Case in point. I was talking with a good friend the other day. She pointed out something that i thought was very interesting. She actually <span style="font-weight: bold;">felt offended</span> when somebody <span style="font-weight: bold;">complemented </span>how <span style="font-weight: bold;">hardworking</span> she was.<br /><br />How could this be, you might wonder? The adjective "hardworking" certainly must be complementary, one must imagine. The free online dictionary defines the word hardworking as "<span style="font-style: italic;">habitually working diligently and for long hours.</span>" Certainly this must be a complement, especially considering the Asian culture where we both come from, where the trait of being a hard worker is encouraged and celebrated.<br /><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgZL6zUGy1LnRhwBMGetuC4dTSqYUJpMKWFjIytLfEf5VG9h5rUwHYgllgA2yMhe3XfkoxgOqIdTiaLUmLd2qgsxQZSoQXKU9xUk7QG62ed8e_FCzLR_pCLpUkYyPJ5u2mAGoeVZPSg6_Q/s1600/hardworking.gif"><img style="float: right; margin: 0pt 0pt 10px 10px; cursor: pointer; width: 186px; height: 200px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgZL6zUGy1LnRhwBMGetuC4dTSqYUJpMKWFjIytLfEf5VG9h5rUwHYgllgA2yMhe3XfkoxgOqIdTiaLUmLd2qgsxQZSoQXKU9xUk7QG62ed8e_FCzLR_pCLpUkYyPJ5u2mAGoeVZPSg6_Q/s200/hardworking.gif" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5524464284117534018" border="0" /></a>In her opinion, she <u>linked the word "hardworking"</u> with <u>requiring long hours of work and effort in order to get things done</u>. This is opposed to someone who can achieve the same result with little effort.<br /><br />This is an example as to how the <span style="font-weight: bold;">message gets distored</span> as it <span style="font-weight: bold;">moves from the receiver to the sender</span>. There is a process of coding and decoding of the message which distorts the message from its original meaning. As mentioned in the post "<a href="http://communicatebetter.blogspot.com/2008/07/understanding-communication-process.html">Understanding the Communication Process</a>", this could be due to cultural factors as my friend has lived many years of her life in an European environment which is different from an Asian environment.<br /><br />And that is how complementing someone as being hardworking can actually turn into an insult. And i'm not even referring to complements that sound like insults either or "complisults", an urban slang meaning a half-compliment and half-insult.<br /><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEishdcFtVy_FD-iUwJpOlREJahJphyphenhyphen4y2xfJhXhb3tkSMoxFjrX_CDmO9i4ZbJJ8T1HWgXtXSvs0oL0isV1GoHPmFXyGnciD06gNZZ3HSy-pIo_o0eRP0IxohhiFG68bRNbVKS0f3xjBP8/s1600/couple+hug.jpg"><img style="float: right; margin: 0pt 0pt 10px 10px; cursor: pointer; width: 190px; height: 253px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEishdcFtVy_FD-iUwJpOlREJahJphyphenhyphen4y2xfJhXhb3tkSMoxFjrX_CDmO9i4ZbJJ8T1HWgXtXSvs0oL0isV1GoHPmFXyGnciD06gNZZ3HSy-pIo_o0eRP0IxohhiFG68bRNbVKS0f3xjBP8/s200/couple+hug.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5524466276963325426" border="0" /></a>The point to take away from this message is that <span style="font-weight: bold; color: rgb(204, 0, 0);">unintentional miscommunication frequently occurs in our daily lives</span>. This can happen anywhere, from our home to our workplace. This is a result of many different distorting factors as information flows through the channel of communication.<br /><br />There is a need to put in the extra effort to ensure that your message is properly received and interpreted by the other person. Continue to be mindful of other person's feelings and continue to <a href="http://www.communicatebetter.blogspot.com/2008/05/establishing-effective-communication.html">develop your interpersonal communication skills</a>.Wenbin Nahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11322971679501228480noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6446044284379382720.post-34151615578793753022010-05-30T01:00:00.009+08:002012-06-11T12:18:48.474+08:00Love and Respect<span style="color: #ffcc99;">`</span><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjDC8yyl9XzkGaUT2VOisB1LIAM31BXs-B3QqjqJ2_k3pY0UWGOHToPJr6CBBUqBYyNLxFRkWAOvTtcxfb9hyphenhyphentH8oNBb69jEFGK686k0SeBeF6V2USitNB9ME_7egfhodlw8LfDGSODuVE/s1600/love+and+respect.jpg"><img alt="" border="0" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5476743199331011138" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjDC8yyl9XzkGaUT2VOisB1LIAM31BXs-B3QqjqJ2_k3pY0UWGOHToPJr6CBBUqBYyNLxFRkWAOvTtcxfb9hyphenhyphentH8oNBb69jEFGK686k0SeBeF6V2USitNB9ME_7egfhodlw8LfDGSODuVE/s200/love+and+respect.jpg" style="cursor: pointer; float: right; height: 150px; margin: 0pt 0pt 10px 10px; width: 200px;" /></a>Love and respect are abstract, intangible aspects in interpersonal relationships. Everybody wants it, few people get it. It cannot be bought and can only be earned. However, it is something that each and everyone of us craves.<br />
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This post talks about <u>the various aspects of respect</u> and <u>how it can strengthen your relationships</u>.<br />
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<span style="font-size: 130%;"><span style="font-weight: bold;"><u>Respect and Friendships</u></span></span><u></u><br />
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I have noticed in my daily life that love, friendships and respect are aspects that are strongly interlinked. We tend to become good friends if there is something about he or she that i greatly respect or admire. The converse is also true.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjp_ZaD5Bkvmd-1ZSedkKosn5HD3rr2PumjGxA5I8xF1BcidIfJqltAFoPDEc7jgBUZXTZjIsihI-G2dxpZtVq5U5PC8EjmW5eRtn1Cy742b2Bu8WqhAgCIm7YDyxGkDGI630GPZgF2QPU/s1600/best+friends.gif"><img alt="" border="0" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5476746124254891378" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjp_ZaD5Bkvmd-1ZSedkKosn5HD3rr2PumjGxA5I8xF1BcidIfJqltAFoPDEc7jgBUZXTZjIsihI-G2dxpZtVq5U5PC8EjmW5eRtn1Cy742b2Bu8WqhAgCIm7YDyxGkDGI630GPZgF2QPU/s200/best+friends.gif" style="cursor: pointer; float: right; height: 118px; margin: 0pt 0pt 10px 10px; width: 200px;" /></a>Just think about it. Think about your best friend whom you love and treasure very much. There must be something about he or she that you really respect or admire.<br />
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This could be their way with people, their intelligence, their analytical ability or maybe even about the way he or she looks. The fact that you respect your best friends shows that <span style="font-weight: bold;">love and respect are often connected</span>.<br />
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Respect has <span style="font-weight: bold;">implications beyond friendships</span>, and extend to relationships in all walks of life such as in marriages, workplace or even in the sporting arena.<br />
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<span style="font-size: 130%;"><span style="font-weight: bold;"><u>Respect and Marriage</u></span></span><br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi9BmmG6gHmAotm5ORrYc7CuNm0AvrXpGb_-BMH3TAASuLfq4QfYdKkxXvOJpWCBsa4LrN2TimzCHhwa2b0Y7lxQKomVUtsFyJaVjw8eu28Eehe_kv7WOis9xJt64AhlTHXHcd78-I3X3Y/s1600/respect+in+marriages.jpg"><img alt="" border="0" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5476744060691233842" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi9BmmG6gHmAotm5ORrYc7CuNm0AvrXpGb_-BMH3TAASuLfq4QfYdKkxXvOJpWCBsa4LrN2TimzCHhwa2b0Y7lxQKomVUtsFyJaVjw8eu28Eehe_kv7WOis9xJt64AhlTHXHcd78-I3X3Y/s200/respect+in+marriages.jpg" style="cursor: pointer; float: right; height: 134px; margin: 0pt 0pt 10px 10px; width: 200px;" /></a>Respect is an <span style="color: red;">important component in a successful marriage</span>. One of the most important ingredients for a successful marriage is <span style="font-weight: bold;">mutual respect</span>.<br />
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Do show appreciation to your significant other for all the little things that he or she does for you. By paying attention to your spouse, you are demonstrating your respect, and your love for them.<br />
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<span style="font-size: 130%;"><span style="font-weight: bold;"><u>Respect and in the Workplace</u></span></span><br />
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Respect is also <u>especially important in the workplace</u>.<br />
Disrespect for others in the workplace creates an atmosphere of negativity, which leads to suspicion, hostility, harassment, bullying, malpractices and frustration.<br />
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<span style="font-size: 130%;"><span style="font-weight: bold;"><u>Respect in Sports</u></span></span><br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi9cNVVObp3lBmi6ACNfoojJcUrvL2kzouS1wEnAB1Hw49YnIHpidAUd0OkdaGuW5cYxE3DsNYCl0jdEQbeTWKEGBAoVoAuLrUev40Gz_nQZc8W9vBivu4ell422BLmV12mA5xCfGVl3qM/s1600/lack+of+respect+in+sports.jpg"><img alt="" border="0" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5476745537998335986" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi9cNVVObp3lBmi6ACNfoojJcUrvL2kzouS1wEnAB1Hw49YnIHpidAUd0OkdaGuW5cYxE3DsNYCl0jdEQbeTWKEGBAoVoAuLrUev40Gz_nQZc8W9vBivu4ell422BLmV12mA5xCfGVl3qM/s200/lack+of+respect+in+sports.jpg" style="cursor: pointer; float: right; height: 147px; margin: 0pt 0pt 10px 10px; width: 200px;" /></a>A quick Google search of "<span style="font-style: italic;">lack of respect in sports</span>" brings many examples where a lack of respect has led to unpleasent situations such as requests to be traded to another team etc...<br />
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In addition, a lack of respect in combat sports is a serious problem when it happens as this may lead to unnecessary brutally when the match is over.<br />
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The main objective of this post is to emphasize the fact that <span style="font-weight: bold;">love and respect are often interlinked</span>, and this often <span style="font-weight: bold;">leads to strong relationships</span> and <span style="font-weight: bold;">friendships</span>. This has been demonstrated using examples from friendships, marriages, the workplance as well as in the sporting arena.<br />
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Thus, you should <span style="font-weight: bold;">always show respect to others</span>, because this will <span style="font-weight: bold;">lead to mutual respect</span>. <span style="font-style: italic;">Respect is earned and never given</span>. It does not instant, but earned over a long period of time.<br />
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If you are interested, here are some nice <a href="http://freefamousquotes.blogspot.com/2008/08/love-quotes.html">Love Quotes</a> and <a href="http://freefamousquotes.blogspot.com/2010/05/respect-quotes.html">Quotes about Respect</a>.Wenbin Nahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11322971679501228480noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6446044284379382720.post-21172647577249352272010-01-27T20:06:00.022+08:002012-06-11T12:28:10.374+08:00Three Little Words in Relationships<span style="font-weight: bold;">Three Little Words in Relationships</span><br /><br />There are many things that we can do to lift up and strengthen our interpersonal relationships. One of the most effective techniques involves the use of saying three special words.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">1. "I'll Be There"</span><br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhL1V0lg14QIb8fsLHCHxSv6HZdfDMoYClHv7Kikfl2AOeCHoDmHctXsI15CqajXdqnb882gvT0CwtuUMnOKnSzWFa57HmHZfHeO7uCBmpCMC6mYkEqI_DxfW-CDbHZ0hbPStDCjBIPupU/s1600-h/I'll+be+there.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 0pt 10px 10px; float: right; cursor: pointer; width: 216px; height: 134px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhL1V0lg14QIb8fsLHCHxSv6HZdfDMoYClHv7Kikfl2AOeCHoDmHctXsI15CqajXdqnb882gvT0CwtuUMnOKnSzWFa57HmHZfHeO7uCBmpCMC6mYkEqI_DxfW-CDbHZ0hbPStDCjBIPupU/s200/I'll+be+there.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5440728229291882738" border="0" /></a>If you ever had to call a friend in the middle of the night when your car has broken down some miles from home, you will know how good it feels to hear the phrase "<span style="font-style: italic;">I'll be there.</span>" Being there for another person is one of the greatest gifts that we can give to another.<br /><br />When we are truly present for other people, important things happen to them as well as to ourselves . We are renewed in love, as well as in friendship. We are restored emotionally and spiritually. Being there is at the very core of civility.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">2. "I Miss You"</span><br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiti75kuDdo2vTLHeaDel2jEuaNYOEF7v1eKg1V2bWnaGIdHOoHMry6GqDmodCbGX0yHQzI2auTxNnSTfW6QvMXvs7_J76ruCQ8TbNEeokUgGmtgzJEU-g3tkyVAZXuE2X_fHK-nXJ3k-s/s1600-h/I+miss+you.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 0pt 10px 10px; float: right; cursor: pointer; width: 254px; height: 191px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiti75kuDdo2vTLHeaDel2jEuaNYOEF7v1eKg1V2bWnaGIdHOoHMry6GqDmodCbGX0yHQzI2auTxNnSTfW6QvMXvs7_J76ruCQ8TbNEeokUgGmtgzJEU-g3tkyVAZXuE2X_fHK-nXJ3k-s/s320/I+miss+you.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5440725161707948450" border="0" /></a>Perhaps more marriages could have been saved and strengthen if couples simply and sincerely say these three words to each other. "<span style="font-style: italic;">I miss you.</span>"<br /><br />These three words act as a powerful affirmation that lets partners know that they are wanted, treasured and loved.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">3. “I Respect You”</span><br /><br />Respect is another way of showing love. Respect conveys the feeling that another person is a true equal. For example, if you were to talk to your children as if they were adults, you will probably strengthen the bonds and become close friends. This applies to all interpersonal relationships. Do <a href="http://communicatebetter.blogspot.com/2009/08/make-other-person-feel-important-and-do.html">make the other person feel important and do it sincerely</a>.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">4. “Maybe You’re Right”</span><br /><br />This phrase is highly effective in diffusing an argument and restoring frayed emotions. The flip side to "<span style="font-style: italic;">maybe your right</span>" is the humility of admitting, "<span style="font-style: italic;">Maybe I'm wrong</span>".<br /><br />Let's face it. When you have a heated argument with someone, all you do is cement the other person's point of view. They, or you, will not change their stance and you run the risk of seriously damaging the relationship between you.<br /><br />Saying "<span style="font-style: italic;">maybe you're right</span>" can open the door to further explore the subject, in which you may then have the opportunity to get your view across in a more rational manner.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">5. “Please Forgive Me.”</span><br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgsySnGuNOvPt4qVqLsZWzRaF7ZmlCIK-SwxRPNAud3S39TpCMI_twcZoMEuHdtRR3tn7-wbrzWpTxXlIWVwl28HTh4S5DH4JojiFYmhJh6m5QOTpaFBH4MLR5bSQeSSSN4D7hZnjiR74M/s1600-h/Please+forgive+me.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 0pt 10px 10px; float: right; cursor: pointer; width: 151px; height: 200px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgsySnGuNOvPt4qVqLsZWzRaF7ZmlCIK-SwxRPNAud3S39TpCMI_twcZoMEuHdtRR3tn7-wbrzWpTxXlIWVwl28HTh4S5DH4JojiFYmhJh6m5QOTpaFBH4MLR5bSQeSSSN4D7hZnjiR74M/s200/Please+forgive+me.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5440725998085381074" border="0" /></a>Many broken relationships could be restored and healed if people would admit their mistakes and ask for forgiveness. All of us are vulnerable to faults, foibles and failures.<br /><br />A man should never be ashamed to own up that he has been in the wrong, which is saying, in other words, that he is wiser today than he was yesterday.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">6. "I Thank You"</span><br /><br />Gratitude is an exquisite form of courtesy. People who enjoy the companionship of good, close friends are those who don't take daily courtesies for granted. They are quick to thank their friends for their many expressions of kindness.<br /><br />On the other hand, people whose circle of friends is severely constricted often do not<br />have the attitude of gratitude.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">7. "Count On Me"<br /><br /></span><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjlhHLT7KN2weuL12SD4tr5KxsrKvCihmUcyBiwHy4WIyvalUIiQE9zNJU_bPI2KaiMqCUE3xVyKSxwUiQeIm2yfoPGlW_DupTUk-Z6c3Gpfkqa8QdCRc8KRoUmJmuEGZ6DjeCwfEqqlFE/s1600-h/Count+on+me.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 0pt 10px 10px; float: right; cursor: pointer; width: 200px; height: 200px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjlhHLT7KN2weuL12SD4tr5KxsrKvCihmUcyBiwHy4WIyvalUIiQE9zNJU_bPI2KaiMqCUE3xVyKSxwUiQeIm2yfoPGlW_DupTUk-Z6c3Gpfkqa8QdCRc8KRoUmJmuEGZ6DjeCwfEqqlFE/s200/Count+on+me.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5440726349990626354" border="0" /></a>A true friend is one who walks in when others walk out. Loyalty is an essential ingredient in the recipe for a good friendship. It is the emotional glue that bonds most people.<br /><br />Those that are rich in their relationships tend to be true and steady friends.<br /><br />When troubles arise, a true friend is one that says "<span style="font-style: italic;">count on me</span>"<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">8. "Let Me Help"</span><br /><br />Best friends see a need and try to fill it. When they spot<br />a hurt they do what they can to try to heal it. Without being asked, they pitch in to help.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">9. "I Understand You"</span><br /><br />People become closer and enjoy each other more if they feel the other person accepts and understands them.<br /><br />Letting your spouse know in so many different ways that you understand them is one of the most powerful tools for healing your relationship. This applies for any relationship.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">10. "I Love You"</span><br /><br />Perhaps the most important three words you can say. Telling someone that you truly love them satisfies a person's deepest emotional needs. The need to belong, to be appreciated and to be wanted.<br /><br />Your family, your friends and yourself all need to hear these three words. "<span style="font-style: italic;"><a href="http://communicatebetter.blogspot.com/2009/09/i-love-you.html">I Love You</a></span>"<br /><br />When spoken or conveyed, these statements have the power to forge new relationships, deepen old ones, and restore relationships that have mellowed.<br /><br />These three word phases can be used to enrich any relationship. Use them and enjoy better relationships in your life today!Wenbin Nahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11322971679501228480noreply@blogger.com11tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6446044284379382720.post-39983060920500094562009-10-07T19:14:00.019+08:002009-10-08T01:04:43.160+08:00Public Speaking<span style="color:#ffcc99;">'</span><br />What are some of the tips for better public speaking? Overcome your fear of public speaking and become a better public speaker with these simple <strong>tips for public speaking</strong>.<br /><br /><strong><u><span style="font-size:130%;">Tip 1 - Speak in a Loud and Clear Voice</span></u></strong><br /><br /><strong><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi1FM-lb8aiOziNmcSEwHyoPCTya0NOQts40H02WrEjBuc9GEBHbHQAQkeBTBXsrcJEHaBx1yApnPneYBR4gBLEp67zzfmYR97twpkKJSc6k_rxCSPIZgJA3_bY36EujMr6RQYi6Etnez4/s1600-h/speak+clearly.jpg"><img style="MARGIN: 0px 0px 10px 10px; WIDTH: 251px; FLOAT: right; HEIGHT: 155px; CURSOR: hand" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5389891140142980706" border="0" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi1FM-lb8aiOziNmcSEwHyoPCTya0NOQts40H02WrEjBuc9GEBHbHQAQkeBTBXsrcJEHaBx1yApnPneYBR4gBLEp67zzfmYR97twpkKJSc6k_rxCSPIZgJA3_bY36EujMr6RQYi6Etnez4/s320/speak+clearly.jpg" /></a> </strong>This is so simple and obvious that it is often forgotten. People have the instinctive fear of public speaking and tend to have the <span style="color:#ff0000;">tendency to speak more softely when we are scared</span>.<br /><br />Speaking confidently in a loud and clear voice is a simple, yet difficult tip to achieve.<br /><br /><div><strong><u><span style="font-size:130%;">Tip 2 - Speak at a Reasonable pace and use Appropriate Pauses</span></u></strong></div><br /><div><strong></strong></div><div><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgRYS-6irYOx9z7X2OE0rxGyG0sQwRX3OQTtn7lR1PxJFFC6M8yCXF1CsB92YnloWosSmTRmpyRgQZM9Soss55SmrI2-7_GnS08KIsZw5rPBLLhFka0TgpqR2g7IbyoijGuiT-OKwzUeyQ/s1600-h/speak+with+pauses.jpg"><img style="MARGIN: 0px 0px 10px 10px; WIDTH: 190px; FLOAT: right; HEIGHT: 136px; CURSOR: hand" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5389897351017229298" border="0" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgRYS-6irYOx9z7X2OE0rxGyG0sQwRX3OQTtn7lR1PxJFFC6M8yCXF1CsB92YnloWosSmTRmpyRgQZM9Soss55SmrI2-7_GnS08KIsZw5rPBLLhFka0TgpqR2g7IbyoijGuiT-OKwzUeyQ/s200/speak+with+pauses.jpg" /></a></div><div>Some people ramble on too fast while others speak too slowly. We should all endevour to speak at a reasonable pace. </div><div></div><div></div><div><br />Do not be afraid to <strong>use appropriate pauses</strong> to emphasize certain points as well as to think about your next point.<br /><br /><br /><strong><u><span style="font-size:130%;">Tip 3 - Use Hand Gestures</span></u></strong></div><br /><div><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhKwq8LAGkXIIfaGUnOrqlqcNI2kPaPxXwCcNXNRLMNp3tALTJqL3niu9eYxFqe2b5Dw1DPlKlQ2dr5jt46etkGeVFJQzLoW_Mnb9qJPAWYsLx0JSzq4mSygcWCuvaKtwKQ3Tov72PNs9k/s1600-h/Hand+Gestures.png"><img style="MARGIN: 0px 0px 10px 10px; WIDTH: 153px; FLOAT: right; HEIGHT: 150px; CURSOR: hand" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5389896994819753650" border="0" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhKwq8LAGkXIIfaGUnOrqlqcNI2kPaPxXwCcNXNRLMNp3tALTJqL3niu9eYxFqe2b5Dw1DPlKlQ2dr5jt46etkGeVFJQzLoW_Mnb9qJPAWYsLx0JSzq4mSygcWCuvaKtwKQ3Tov72PNs9k/s200/Hand+Gestures.png" /></a></div><div>Public speaking in from of an audience does not involve the voice alone. Hand gestures are important as well. </div><br /><div></div><div>Good use of hand gestures help to <strong>add emphasis to</strong> the speaker's <strong>important points</strong> as well as make the speech more interesting. </div><div><br /><br /><strong><u><span style="font-size:130%;">Tip 4 - Talk Candidly (if possible)</span></u></strong></div><br /><div><strong></strong></div><div><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhGgKtzm2q2fzOeD61vzom6MN5_xuJB5Hq1MRqh8H9bVOkmjGcdUK58ES2EFeXDDlMDpHKRxFb8hxXz-msl7aPdxiAEeJIgb8LyrsddcoPPZS43G0xT7rPhyphenhyphenWlbWjIzkE9X9QTNcoFIOvY/s1600-h/speaking+candidly.jpg"><img style="MARGIN: 0px 0px 10px 10px; WIDTH: 200px; FLOAT: right; HEIGHT: 155px; CURSOR: hand" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5389895852011420018" border="0" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhGgKtzm2q2fzOeD61vzom6MN5_xuJB5Hq1MRqh8H9bVOkmjGcdUK58ES2EFeXDDlMDpHKRxFb8hxXz-msl7aPdxiAEeJIgb8LyrsddcoPPZS43G0xT7rPhyphenhyphenWlbWjIzkE9X9QTNcoFIOvY/s200/speaking+candidly.jpg" /></a></div>I was watching a good speaker talk about his points when halfway through his speech, he mentioned that he had drifted away from his points. Thats when it hit me! <u>The truely great speakers do not speak from a memorized script</u>. They just speak from the top of their head.<br /><br />Speak just as if you were talking to a friend.<br /><br />Follow these four tips in order to become a <a href="http://communicatebetter.blogspot.com/2008/06/presentation-tips.html">more effective public speaker</a>.<br /><br />If you have enjoyed this post, do bookmark it or subscribe to the feed. Thanks.Wenbin Nahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11322971679501228480noreply@blogger.com13tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6446044284379382720.post-83942471174253425322009-09-19T00:00:00.006+08:002009-09-19T22:30:54.121+08:00I Love You<span style="color: rgb(255, 204, 153);">'</span><br /><span style="font-style: italic; font-weight: bold;">I Love You.</span><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjEQjXaOrvF12nUWDeeGlXMpOuGl-yEEv-JKEaQufipzIyB5HartmmxoOYfwukkbJxkEMcAxyN93b-Ymp43rEouDt70Ht_JNk8tlBIoSWjNDqVqoKuMVlxQnEaRkBn6ZoTOAaIG-NMjzB4/s1600-h/I+love+you+bear.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 0pt 10px 10px; float: right; cursor: pointer; width: 200px; height: 200px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjEQjXaOrvF12nUWDeeGlXMpOuGl-yEEv-JKEaQufipzIyB5HartmmxoOYfwukkbJxkEMcAxyN93b-Ymp43rEouDt70Ht_JNk8tlBIoSWjNDqVqoKuMVlxQnEaRkBn6ZoTOAaIG-NMjzB4/s200/I+love+you+bear.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5383166398063990450" border="0" /></a><br /><span style="font-style: italic; font-weight: bold;"><br /></span>Three words that have transcended emotional core of the human race.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold; font-style: italic;">I Love You.</span><br /><br />Three words that have transformed the of human history. Three words that can move armies and change the face of human destiny. Three words that can touch lives.<br /><span style="font-size:130%;"><br /></span><span style="font-weight: bold; font-style: italic;font-size:130%;" >Falling in Love</span><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgws1drOjK5hxszz_J4dev8gRVf2kQqXzTelhIIkbnqVz4QSL37jNr7FJqoupD3d8hrwzrMBcLfad-0phjJH9MD53p0Zd5hMP1lkh_4D5kz1D-yJJBAguAH6sPXYji3UOR_XkETxic-2WA/s1600-h/in+love.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 0pt 10px 10px; float: right; cursor: pointer; width: 134px; height: 200px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgws1drOjK5hxszz_J4dev8gRVf2kQqXzTelhIIkbnqVz4QSL37jNr7FJqoupD3d8hrwzrMBcLfad-0phjJH9MD53p0Zd5hMP1lkh_4D5kz1D-yJJBAguAH6sPXYji3UOR_XkETxic-2WA/s200/in+love.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5383169433929042338" border="0" /></a><br /><br />Falling in love is one of life's great experiences. Everyone wants to be in love. No matter where we are in our lives or what else might occupy our time, we all wish to have someone to love and someone who will love us in return.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold; font-style: italic;font-size:130%;" >Love is...</span><br /><br />So what is love? Love refers to emotions and experiences related to a sense of strong affection and attachment. Relating to the phase "<span style="font-style: italic;">I love you</span>", love usually refers to a deep, ineffable feeling of tenderly caring for another person.<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjxuiCt80IGE-wi-_-Xx4YiC4TEe-7HJnmpgo0HuSudQgmpNiYoGDAEG1Uxom9o76-z-WVkK3YFWzCyxeS_r3Z-dRZimn8GQpHILfeWYYymyqYN4Kxz-1mwdxxHalw7AmXB4_cMjKUveGw/s1600-h/i+love+u.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 0pt 10px 10px; float: right; cursor: pointer; width: 148px; height: 164px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjxuiCt80IGE-wi-_-Xx4YiC4TEe-7HJnmpgo0HuSudQgmpNiYoGDAEG1Uxom9o76-z-WVkK3YFWzCyxeS_r3Z-dRZimn8GQpHILfeWYYymyqYN4Kxz-1mwdxxHalw7AmXB4_cMjKUveGw/s200/i+love+u.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5383180751100229362" border="0" /></a>When we feel that special feeling for someone else, we tend to want to say that special three words to the other person. We think of the other person all the time. It floods our minds and occupies our fleeting thoughts. That special person and those three special words, "<span style="font-style: italic;">I love you</span>".<br /><br /><br /><span style="font-style: italic; font-weight: bold;"><span style="font-size:130%;">Love in a Relationship</span><br /><br /></span><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjWN5ZoGXeOZU_YiHl1wwfHQuWKGDN0jFRbLN5e2xRyvoqFex6lRo2hL75eIUBJaccMnMhEYU7m7OivpECZqARJ0zbFn3LU67eTCfHt3nsBSuNFZvvU2YVtsQsfpXLnAirC5Jc6kqKRjyU/s1600-h/I+love+you.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 0pt 10px 10px; float: right; cursor: pointer; width: 200px; height: 184px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjWN5ZoGXeOZU_YiHl1wwfHQuWKGDN0jFRbLN5e2xRyvoqFex6lRo2hL75eIUBJaccMnMhEYU7m7OivpECZqARJ0zbFn3LU67eTCfHt3nsBSuNFZvvU2YVtsQsfpXLnAirC5Jc6kqKRjyU/s200/I+love+you.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5383165903019879202" border="0" /></a>In a relationship, differences between men and women may cause friction within a loving relationship. For example, a women wants to feel loved and cherished but the man will want to feel competent and respected. Not recognizing such differences might result in problems later in a relationship.<br /><br />Similarly, recognizing such needs and desires early on can help both parties fulfill each other's needs and desires in a relationship resulted in strengthen bonds and ties.<br /><br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold; font-style: italic;font-size:130%;" >Love Equals Giving</span><br /><br />Pure love is giving by its nature. When a person showers his or her partner with the warmth and tenderness of love, his or her partner will instinctively feel the desire to reciprocate. This creates a positive feedback loop of love and affection. Thus, we should all strive to <u>shower our partners with as much <span style="font-weight: bold; color: rgb(255, 0, 0);">love and affection</span></u> as possible.<br /><br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold; font-style: italic;font-size:130%;" >Relationships need Constant Love</span><br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhDyyov5Dp1QRkH3gD2aYOAZ7zw3kdBLKp9Oz1B-F3de17TLVlBH6irftym_IoociVJ6TZmjrZHW-FnLsn22PKW4YEXlqqamNVrs7dlQVHmTXhCwY7e1kduoqQf5MGSKNucOjlZSzB-tTw/s1600-h/plants+growing.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 0pt 10px 10px; float: right; cursor: pointer; width: 200px; height: 200px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhDyyov5Dp1QRkH3gD2aYOAZ7zw3kdBLKp9Oz1B-F3de17TLVlBH6irftym_IoociVJ6TZmjrZHW-FnLsn22PKW4YEXlqqamNVrs7dlQVHmTXhCwY7e1kduoqQf5MGSKNucOjlZSzB-tTw/s200/plants+growing.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5383167019400582978" border="0" /></a> Relationships require nourishment in order to grow and develop. Just like plants that require water and sunlight, similarly, our relationships also require constant nourishment and care to flourish. Shower your partner with <span style="color: rgb(255, 0, 0); font-weight: bold;">love and affection</span>, such as affirming your love by saying "<span style="font-style: italic;">I love you</span>".<br /><br />I wish you a lifetime of endless love and happiness with whoever he or she may be.<br /><br /><br /><u>Here are some resources that are related to the words "<span style="font-style: italic;">I love you</span>"</u><br /><br /><a href="http://freefamousquotes.blogspot.com/2008/08/love-quotes.html">Love Quotes</a> from <a href="http://freefamousquotes.blogspot.com/">Free Famous Quotes</a><br /><a href="http://yunus.hacettepe.edu.tr/%7Esadi/dizeler/i-love-you.html" rel="nofollow">I Love You in Different Languages</a><br /><a href="http://www.theholidayspot.com/valentine/reasons_i_love_you.htm" rel="nofollow">21 Reasons why I Love You</a><br /><a href="http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/0142001198?ie=UTF8&tag=giftrevi-20&linkCode=as2&camp=1789&creative=9325&creativeASIN=0142001198" rel="nofollow">The Art of Seduction</a><img src="http://www.assoc-amazon.com/e/ir?t=giftrevi-20&l=as2&o=1&a=0142001198" alt="" style="border: medium none ! important; margin: 0px ! important;" border="0" height="1" width="1" /> from <a href="http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/0142001198?ie=UTF8&tag=giftrevi-20&linkCode=as2&camp=1789&creative=9325&creativeASIN=0142001198" rel="nofollow">Amazon.com</a><img src="http://www.assoc-amazon.com/e/ir?t=giftrevi-20&l=as2&o=1&a=0142001198" alt="" style="border: medium none ! important; margin: 0px ! important;" border="0" height="1" width="1" /><br /><a href="http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/0609607278?ie=UTF8&tag=giftrevi-20&linkCode=as2&camp=1789&creative=9325&creativeASIN=0609607278" rel="nofollow">How to Write a Love Letter</a><img src="http://www.assoc-amazon.com/e/ir?t=giftrevi-20&l=as2&o=1&a=0609607278" alt="" style="border: medium none ! important; margin: 0px ! important;" border="0" height="1" width="1" /> from <a href="http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/0609607278?ie=UTF8&tag=giftrevi-20&linkCode=as2&camp=1789&creative=9325&creativeASIN=0609607278" rel="nofollow">Amazon.com</a><img src="http://www.assoc-amazon.com/e/ir?t=giftrevi-20&l=as2&o=1&a=0609607278" alt="" style="border: medium none ! important; margin: 0px ! important;" border="0" height="1" width="1" />Wenbin Nahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11322971679501228480noreply@blogger.com16tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6446044284379382720.post-2091192406771481712009-09-07T11:00:00.011+08:002009-09-07T14:32:25.095+08:00Pleasure and Pain in Human Behaviour<span style="color: rgb(255, 204, 153);">`</span><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjCt0EG3kt9xv3zVafwrhspsIIwAX3wnRf4HumB-dPhjbjQPndVbDsaXoTv0hTdNpASbyo6c6qIncQ3yLEMZveh40Ut2V_hniyynJjC7LiN9C4YE8iXXUU4YbLUwaaXpnCHcQs_kXKmGcc/s1600-h/relax.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 0pt 10px 10px; float: right; cursor: pointer; width: 222px; height: 165px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjCt0EG3kt9xv3zVafwrhspsIIwAX3wnRf4HumB-dPhjbjQPndVbDsaXoTv0hTdNpASbyo6c6qIncQ3yLEMZveh40Ut2V_hniyynJjC7LiN9C4YE8iXXUU4YbLUwaaXpnCHcQs_kXKmGcc/s200/relax.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5378576790253662738" border="0" /></a>Why do you do the things that you do? Why do you go to work, or relax in front of the television, or meet up with some friends?<br /><br />What is the motivational factor that drives all human behaviour?<br /><br />The answer is actually very simple. World renounded success coach <a href="http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/0671791540?ie=UTF8&tag=giftrevi-20&linkCode=as2&camp=1789&creative=9325&creativeASIN=0671791540">Anthony Robbins</a><img src="http://www.assoc-amazon.com/e/ir?t=giftrevi-20&l=as2&o=1&a=0671791540" alt="" style="border: medium none ! important; margin: 0px ! important;" border="0" height="1" width="1" /> in his book <a href="http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/0671791540?ie=UTF8&tag=giftrevi-20&linkCode=as2&camp=1789&creative=9325&creativeASIN=0671791540">Awaken the Giant Within</a><img src="http://www.assoc-amazon.com/e/ir?t=giftrevi-20&l=as2&o=1&a=0671791540" alt="" style="border: medium none ! important; margin: 0px ! important;" border="0" height="1" width="1" /> has the answer.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold; font-style: italic;">We do things in order to avoid pain, as well as to gain pleasure</span>. Let me repeat that again. <u>We do things to to avoid pain and/or to gain pleasure</u>. That sounds so simple that it clouds the deep truth and profound wisdom in the answer.<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEit_KSRh482pFpjzOfkEg_3LBkIOY9cmYIYdyJXOvoKDxCZICsikqzM2rPsWWHP7qCCzKq9yJzzoMxNZQVze2n7MRYpZYpsrWswHjZ5vVIMtjzrDV2D7LmqEZpQ1ErZ-5ljPjvZgs4oFgA/s1600-h/no+smoking.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 0pt 10px 10px; float: right; cursor: pointer; width: 200px; height: 195px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEit_KSRh482pFpjzOfkEg_3LBkIOY9cmYIYdyJXOvoKDxCZICsikqzM2rPsWWHP7qCCzKq9yJzzoMxNZQVze2n7MRYpZYpsrWswHjZ5vVIMtjzrDV2D7LmqEZpQ1ErZ-5ljPjvZgs4oFgA/s200/no+smoking.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5378577831052150354" border="0" /></a>This provides the answer as to why different people may do different things or have different values. Let me provide an example. Why do some people smoke, but others frown upon it?<br /><br />This is because the <u>people who smoke link tremendous pleasure to this activity</u>, such as the feeling of being "cool" or "hip". However, <u>other people may link tremendous pain</u> to the activity, such as coughing, or getting lung cancer.<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiEvAie06m-nftxg3WM9LH0mhyphenhyphenxBp9VlX1G3XN3MRFFtNB_A22QQCYFpfv3JRRNuurGE2FCN3rFYk2vibCMRmY7XaZG2lB7No7jVnjG1RDQABsOkKd8EFFiCRPQ9Reyo1v4uG6P9nIT-mw/s1600-h/pleasure+happiness.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 0pt 10px 10px; float: right; cursor: pointer; width: 200px; height: 148px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiEvAie06m-nftxg3WM9LH0mhyphenhyphenxBp9VlX1G3XN3MRFFtNB_A22QQCYFpfv3JRRNuurGE2FCN3rFYk2vibCMRmY7XaZG2lB7No7jVnjG1RDQABsOkKd8EFFiCRPQ9Reyo1v4uG6P9nIT-mw/s200/pleasure+happiness.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5378584165609718594" border="0" /></a>The point that i am trying to make is, all of us are <span style="font-weight: bold; font-style: italic;">driven by the need to gain pleasure</span>, as well as <span style="font-style: italic; font-weight: bold;">the need to avoid pain</span>.<br /><br />Understanding this principle will allow you to become <span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 153);">more <span style="font-weight: bold;">understanding and empathetic</span> to the actions and behaviors of other people</span>. If can also help you to improve the quality of your own life by getting you to take action on the things that you know that you need to do.<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiHxFQYUkIOXrx4Er3XYw8XwbaZvN9uS8oLc2C7EvP-10bjeqDIBJnj4fHvVGfmgtKU2741vSz2xIeHV0qPmitkTBI8ZNmbTEUw_rDf4dHdf-f2MxUu5KY20crZh_yUdcji545j9zp1gQ8/s1600-h/smiling+face.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 0pt 10px 10px; float: right; cursor: pointer; width: 141px; height: 212px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiHxFQYUkIOXrx4Er3XYw8XwbaZvN9uS8oLc2C7EvP-10bjeqDIBJnj4fHvVGfmgtKU2741vSz2xIeHV0qPmitkTBI8ZNmbTEUw_rDf4dHdf-f2MxUu5KY20crZh_yUdcji545j9zp1gQ8/s200/smiling+face.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5378578273761129746" border="0" /></a>For example, we all seek to improve our <a href="http://www.communicatebetter.blogspot.com/2009/04/what-is-important-in-your-life.html">relationships with our loved ones</a>, but not everybody makes the effort to spend time with them. We know that we seek to improve our relationships, because of the pleasure and good feelings that we get when our relationships are strong.<br /><br />However, we do not act on this instinct as this feeling of pleasure is overwhelmed by the even greater feeling of immediate pleasure that playing a video game or watching some television may bring.<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgCqyw73y1pd6D-CteJcvghsBaqPyHinqrcQyRFdgEtjbN5lZsXd2Df-L66wVO3CJVIsoBQEY5QLyApfqC2_V4LAuKyaUkPRWECPm5dUi5INUI_Ze-eFWfXdoiMElFJ4V-sTOwApLJYU-c/s1600-h/pleasure.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 0pt 10px 10px; float: right; cursor: pointer; width: 200px; height: 199px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgCqyw73y1pd6D-CteJcvghsBaqPyHinqrcQyRFdgEtjbN5lZsXd2Df-L66wVO3CJVIsoBQEY5QLyApfqC2_V4LAuKyaUkPRWECPm5dUi5INUI_Ze-eFWfXdoiMElFJ4V-sTOwApLJYU-c/s200/pleasure.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5378584812022712418" border="0" /></a>What we need to do is to try to <span style="color: rgb(204, 0, 0);">strengthen our associations between pleasure and relationships</span>, as well as to link some pain into not having strong relationships.<br /><br />Think of what it might feel like to be distant to your loved ones, and you might find that this might motivate you to put in the necessary effort in your relationships or whatever you want to achieve in your life.<br /><br />The pain and pleasure principle is extremely simple yet powerful. Understanding this principle and applying it in your daily life will not only allow you to change your behaviour, it will also allow you to improve the quality of your life.<br /><br />If you are interested in reading more about <a href="http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/0671791540?ie=UTF8&tag=giftrevi-20&linkCode=as2&camp=1789&creative=9325&creativeASIN=0671791540">Anthony Robbins</a><img src="http://www.assoc-amazon.com/e/ir?t=giftrevi-20&l=as2&o=1&a=0671791540" alt="" style="border: medium none ! important; margin: 0px ! important;" border="0" height="1" width="1" />, you might also enjoy some <a style="font-weight: bold;" href="http://freefamousquotes.blogspot.com/2009/05/anthony-robbins-profile-and-quotes.html">quotes by Anthony Robbins</a><br />If you are interesting in reading more about human needs, you might enjoy my post about<span style="text-decoration: underline;"> </span><a style="font-weight: bold;" href="http://www.communicatebetter.blogspot.com/2009/02/role-of-communication-within-maslows.html">Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs</a>Wenbin Nahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11322971679501228480noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6446044284379382720.post-24313449789880092302009-08-22T15:04:00.016+08:002009-08-22T16:07:03.257+08:00Make the Other Person Feel Important and do it Sincerely<div><div><div><span style="color: rgb(255, 204, 153);">'</span><br />How to make people like you instantly. <a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgsf_8vRUB4AxcfMwP-6n0p_8I3IofUaB43-Fstwwbx2WWzq-bJgEsCug0d1ZIh1oy9EGGX5o26c4tIrToCvzI7ZBzMu5IXxC3p7CoH6qUHp4eTjPHoM55OYEC2J9T_n3JIKU1agKKUA7Q/s1600-h/beautiful+girl+with+flowers.jpg"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5372683301561091874" style="margin: 0px 0px 10px 10px; float: right; width: 144px; height: 213px;" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgsf_8vRUB4AxcfMwP-6n0p_8I3IofUaB43-Fstwwbx2WWzq-bJgEsCug0d1ZIh1oy9EGGX5o26c4tIrToCvzI7ZBzMu5IXxC3p7CoH6qUHp4eTjPHoM55OYEC2J9T_n3JIKU1agKKUA7Q/s200/beautiful+girl+with+flowers.jpg" border="0" /></a><br /><br />In my previous post "<a href="http://communicatebetter.blogspot.com/2008/08/how-to-win-friends-and-influence-people.html">How to Win Friends and Influence People</a>", we have explored the first five ways to make people like you, and they are<br /><br />1. <a href="http://communicatebetter.blogspot.com/2008/09/become-genuinely-interested-in-other.html">Become genuinely </a><a href="http://communicatebetter.blogspot.com/2008/09/become-genuinely-interested-in-other.html">interested in other people</a>.<br />2. <a href="http://communicatebetter.blogspot.com/2008/10/power-of-smile.html">Smile</a>.<br />3. <a href="http://communicatebetter.blogspot.com/2008/12/remembering-persons-name.html">Remember that a person's name is to that person the sweetest and most important sound in any language</a>.<br />4. <a href="http://communicatebetter.blogspot.com/2009/01/three-different-levels-of-listening.html">Be a good listener. Encourage others to talk about themselves</a>.<br />5. <a href="http://communicatebetter.blogspot.com/2009/05/talk-in-terms-of-other-persons.html">Talk in terms of the other person's interests</a>.<br /><br /><div><div>In this post, we will explore the one all important law of human conduct. This law will bring us countless friends and constant happiness if followed, and endless trouble if broken. The law is,<br /><br /></div><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5372677948262869842" style="margin: 0px 0px 10px 10px; float: right; width: 121px; height: 182px;" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj5YrrSp3i72ovqip27Z3LSL6kzFsaE6WrjNYQmZVd80wioL57r-th14E1V0_5FP9OuC8qbNrtaWGsTQBjL8yV5syxVxV0B7G-KRlbqUT1co0CJO1HzCWg1YUgbuvCqlg2fSFS-3pj8Fmo/s200/feeling+of+importance.jpg" border="0" /><em><strong>Always Make the Other Person Feel Important</strong></em><br /><div><br />As humans, <u>all of us crave</u> to be appreciated. I am not referring to cheap insincere flattery here, but <u>honest sincere appreciation</u>.<br /><br />The truth is that almost everybody that you meet feel that they are superior to you in some way. Why not let them realize in a subtle way that you recognise their importance and recognise it sincerely.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold; font-style: italic;">Show Respect to Others<br /></span><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg4Me_fQ5vnrshJY-qxLZCGcO5kcs1a64DqdS5aT9UWj-MPKK4_kd1fY0fLoB4YYBUf7FhhGRL0qT81qIGAseVZaQOIeroupLJg5rEy3OiUWgE6OsyGkkVCN9ZD8OFsNAA9zY7M3qOKMNc/s1600-h/flowers.jpg"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5372673401058316418" style="margin: 0px 0px 10px 10px; float: right; width: 190px; height: 143px;" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg4Me_fQ5vnrshJY-qxLZCGcO5kcs1a64DqdS5aT9UWj-MPKK4_kd1fY0fLoB4YYBUf7FhhGRL0qT81qIGAseVZaQOIeroupLJg5rEy3OiUWgE6OsyGkkVCN9ZD8OFsNAA9zY7M3qOKMNc/s200/flowers.jpg" border="0" /></a><br />Always show respect to others. Fill your vocabulary with phases such as "<span style="font-style: italic;">I'm sorry to trouble you,</span>" "<em>Would you be so kind as to -"</em> "<em>Won't you please?</em>" "<em>Would you mind</em>" and "<em>Thank you</em>."<br /><br />Little courtesies like these grease the gears of everyday life and make our daily existance a nice and smoother one.<br /><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjOv9bH9t_QrAt098kPe0J-gFCKw9FG04iMbZC9Ly0qLHzY-CkExyQUy1SPwbFhQSuYuivGDHKJf_CHQ5z2i9H_Nc6k9Qwm_Nn-FwKBfjZh1CCEEfcgSc5L2l0TSU7XN4KLI2pBhBWOvao/s1600-h/happy.jpg"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5372682515687132050" style="margin: 0px 0px 10px 10px; float: right; width: 179px; height: 200px;" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjOv9bH9t_QrAt098kPe0J-gFCKw9FG04iMbZC9Ly0qLHzY-CkExyQUy1SPwbFhQSuYuivGDHKJf_CHQ5z2i9H_Nc6k9Qwm_Nn-FwKBfjZh1CCEEfcgSc5L2l0TSU7XN4KLI2pBhBWOvao/s200/happy.jpg" border="0" /></a>As humans, we should do our best to try and radiate a little happiness and pass on a bit of <a href="http://communicatebetter.blogspot.com/2008/08/give-honest-and-sincere-appreciation.html">honest appreciation</a> to others, even if we do not get anything in return. The fact that you managed to make someone feel a tiny bit better about themselves is reward enough.<br /><br />Why not say something nice to somebody else. It could be a family member, a friend, or even a complete stranger. <span style="color: rgb(51, 0, 153);">Make the other person feel important, and do it sincerely</span>.<br /><br />Make someone else happy, today.<br /><br />If you enjoyed this post, don't forget to subscribe or bookmark it! :)<br /></div></div></div></div></div>Wenbin Nahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11322971679501228480noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6446044284379382720.post-83373331049061871972009-08-08T15:19:00.010+08:002012-06-11T12:19:29.050+08:00Relationship Advice<span style="color: #ffcc99;">'</span><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjzuNMw7fT45NKT5-tQNni0r3GqB8kBTcSn1mFTtZCh0FUVq7uxaYb7cOsU7jtIiraM15wcPBXCsyy7_6IG6ugJDNJYiWD8j49clfOuPBhjx16e0nrjdTpcdo1Qu8vfMa9zW4ysvTvWdJs/s1600-h/relationships.jpg"><img alt="" border="0" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5367482951218118626" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjzuNMw7fT45NKT5-tQNni0r3GqB8kBTcSn1mFTtZCh0FUVq7uxaYb7cOsU7jtIiraM15wcPBXCsyy7_6IG6ugJDNJYiWD8j49clfOuPBhjx16e0nrjdTpcdo1Qu8vfMa9zW4ysvTvWdJs/s200/relationships.jpg" style="cursor: pointer; float: right; height: 202px; margin: 0pt 0pt 10px 10px; width: 151px;" /></a>After being in a successful relationship for almost 2 years and on the verge of getting married, I thought I would share some important relationship advice on how to maintain a strong relationship with your partner.<br />
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<span style="font-weight: bold;">1) Be Understanding –</span><br />
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Relationships have their ups and downs. No two people are perfect, and everybody is different. You should not expect your partner to share your point of view for all things.<br />
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The key is to try to <u>be understanding to the other person’s feelings</u> and to try to <u>take the other person’s point of view</u>. Compromise. Adopt the other person’s point of view more often and you should see more improvement in your relationships.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhUeRD4sUyhcWKiKQNx2cQjctge6hIwjS_5sJV9o1OxFSc7FdoMiEP80xZG8yGCfnPmv_RmbnOzZjiOL1ywa8k70iWlXfWQpgLxDuL0jptcaZZRU6_ZoLo8nWRUvQolZ78Jc6xyug6p50k/s1600-h/love+and+relationships.jpg"><img alt="" border="0" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5367483170069572018" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhUeRD4sUyhcWKiKQNx2cQjctge6hIwjS_5sJV9o1OxFSc7FdoMiEP80xZG8yGCfnPmv_RmbnOzZjiOL1ywa8k70iWlXfWQpgLxDuL0jptcaZZRU6_ZoLo8nWRUvQolZ78Jc6xyug6p50k/s200/love+and+relationships.jpg" style="cursor: pointer; float: right; height: 200px; margin: 0pt 0pt 10px 10px; width: 199px;" /></a><span style="font-weight: bold;">2) Make the Extra Effort –</span><br />
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Relationships don’t sustain themselves automatically. A plant requires nourishment and sunlight to grow, similarly, relationships require lots of nurturing for them to develop and grow. And all of this nurturing requires lots of time and extra effort for them to develop.<br />
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In life, we often times take our closest loved ones for granted, and don’t put in the necessary time to develop our relationships with them. <u>Do make the extra effort to make time for your loved ones</u> today.<br />
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<span style="font-weight: bold;">3) Be Interesting</span><span style="font-style: italic;"> (Or at least try to be interesting) </span><span style="font-weight: bold;">–<br /></span><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhOacBz2beaEdYTzrrZjjRJeB6ngBm35kZQlbXUherl3WSUtPAf34E-jgKiwJDQwM7FCgMryfob3cDkRIjeNbAh2RWdf0O0uQ_41eP-O_h4m-fA49l4pX8RYHKAnf29B5aFN-hvnHP7m3o/s1600-h/relationship+interesting.jpg"><img alt="" border="0" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5367485618857725698" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhOacBz2beaEdYTzrrZjjRJeB6ngBm35kZQlbXUherl3WSUtPAf34E-jgKiwJDQwM7FCgMryfob3cDkRIjeNbAh2RWdf0O0uQ_41eP-O_h4m-fA49l4pX8RYHKAnf29B5aFN-hvnHP7m3o/s200/relationship+interesting.jpg" style="cursor: pointer; float: right; height: 133px; margin: 0pt 0pt 10px 10px; width: 200px;" /></a>In many relationships, couples fall into a rut of doing the same things again and again. That coupled with the stagnation as a result of familiarity results in boredom in a relationship.<br />
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<u>Periodically do something different or interesting to excite your partner</u>. Go for a weekend getaway, do something nice for your partner for no reason. Avoid falling into that mundane ruet that many couples tend to fall into.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi1JVSCErEs2j5K0du4P1m79SBcoZpcV3QcybmRt-JJDrWe_x-0KQXrUZ9P-BDWEJeHwpYygSazy_U5a2Z6v8K6EptnPyn-qf2vmwbWm-P1qM24ZDCgqmv7CrXh2pJYoULV-4KZcDgV03w/s1600-h/happy+relationships.jpg"><img alt="" border="0" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5367487169542098578" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi1JVSCErEs2j5K0du4P1m79SBcoZpcV3QcybmRt-JJDrWe_x-0KQXrUZ9P-BDWEJeHwpYygSazy_U5a2Z6v8K6EptnPyn-qf2vmwbWm-P1qM24ZDCgqmv7CrXh2pJYoULV-4KZcDgV03w/s200/happy+relationships.jpg" style="cursor: pointer; float: right; height: 132px; margin: 0pt 0pt 10px 10px; width: 200px;" /></a>Relationships in an important aspect of our lives and we need to take the effort to nature them. These three simple relationship advice may require some effort to follow, but might provide much more joy and satisfaction to your relationships.<br />
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You might also enjoy some <a href="http://freefamousquotes.blogspot.com/2008/10/funny-dating-quotes.html">Funny Dating Quotes</a>.<br />
You might also enjoy the post: "<a href="http://communicatebetter.blogspot.com/2008/09/can-money-really-buy-happiness.html">Can Money Really Buy Happiness</a>?"Wenbin Nahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11322971679501228480noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6446044284379382720.post-72440746663593165292009-07-26T14:01:00.010+08:002012-06-11T12:19:58.682+08:00Become a People Person at Work<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #ffcccc;">'</span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #ffcccc;"><img alt="" border="0" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5362644050450430274" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgyKdKuU14KHcpdGVrhf_dCn-ABtGKvyuztNFIzc1qo8VTuTKGTcAPfVIdFSFkyucLR16-LbFKWhHS6C6uZiHpwv6Hccur7hpLP9eB2lRaspsc1UyeuIKky-Q54_446yWzSAYMiTOS8c2Y/s200/workplace+happiness" style="cursor: pointer; float: right; height: 193px; margin: 0pt 0pt 10px 10px; width: 127px;" /></span><br />
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The most difficult thing about working in an office is often not the job itself, but dealing with other people. This is the main reason why most job requirements these days have requirements such as<br />
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<i>- The ability to relate to people of all levels<br />- Have a good team spirit and a pleasant personality<br />- Able to work independently and good people management skills</i><br />
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<i>- Good communication & interpersonal skills<br />- Able to communicate well and able to work with people from various levels</i></div>
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From these actual sample job requirements above, it is clear good interpersonal communication skills is a essential requirement of the modern day corporate executive.<br />
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Here are some helpful tips that might be helpful in the workplace.</div>
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<b>• Do treat your co-workers with respect</b></div>
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<img alt="" border="0" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5362632842129303554" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh6ghc6YbEKUH5IybI8G3cSuvNNg5U__0w26yybsmyr94KH-t1jwHIC1aky6fGEKTWrNx-1i6ymeqdxs_lLGqIDiCfq-7UiMlYTCO0tw8t2-vwdieVhKObv2gR83P9H1GWe4q0TGy4CW5Y/s200/respect.jpg" style="cursor: pointer; float: right; height: 183px; margin: 0pt 0pt 10px 10px; width: 200px;" /><br />
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Treat your coworkers as your equals, no matter what their position within your organization. All people are equal; they just have different jobs. The way you treat other people is important in building interpersonal relationships.</div>
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Believe in this and believe in this each and every working day. You will develop a network of co-workers whom like and respect you in turn.</div>
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<b>• Do keep your promises </b></div>
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<b></b>If you say you will do something, then do it. People will need to depend upon you and the deadlines to which you commit. Again, it is a matter of developing trust. Similarly, when working on a project together, always put forth your best effort. Be the person who is willing to go that extra mile to strengthen the collaboration and the outcome or product.</div>
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<img alt="" border="0" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5362633910840601554" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEganS8idmhje1UYj15IX3YKNuHn7C33BBR8bKLN413V1IvMKxBh0ZaPS4eaiixLxAkMs7CFMeaEatCMgibUgCIL7YD1CIwupv02nb0d3NjpnRRumiOz5dzGa0FQHov7rWR_EbbVzxQ2yvY/s200/professonalism+at+work" style="cursor: pointer; float: right; height: 200px; margin: 0pt 0pt 10px 10px; width: 148px;" /><b>• Do exhibit total professionalism at work </b></div>
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<b></b>Never participate in the gossip of co-workers behind their backs. People will only trust you and if they know that what they tell you is safe in your hands. Cooporation at work only works when trust is present. </div>
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Similarly, never back-stab or blind-side a co-worker. If you have a problem with their actions, talk to that person directly and in private. </div>
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If you let your ally down, you could spend years redeveloping the relationship, if trust at the prior level is ever again even possible. Resolve any conflicts or disputes at the earliest opportunity. Unresolved conflict festers just under the surface in organizations. Unresolved conflict undermines alliance-building and mutual, purposeful progress toward accomplishing personal and organizational missions.</div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: bold;">• Do your job well</span></div>
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<b><br /></b><img alt="" border="0" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5362640514361100626" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiMYP8noAUgP0anNu5epRK4nxgejbb02G7F9HfHS0hQw0MFEo8SXX7apPyR2SBgztFaGVA54wm2-BcaVBdXUMoEkfNx2UZEw8byTQJfIdYDxJZueUTDgMqbgJc-WuVytapROpNhF-lXuJw/s200/happy+at+work" style="cursor: pointer; float: right; height: 196px; margin: 0pt 0pt 10px 10px; width: 200px;" />If you do your job well, and with sincerity, you will succeed. You will not need office politics to help you succeed (or at least need it to a much less extent). Therefore, do your job well, and hopefully you will influence other people at your workplace to do likewise.</div>
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Effective communication forms the foundation for positive working relationships. Open lines of communication keep information, opinions and support flowing.<br />
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Put yourself in the shoes of your colleagues and respect their point of view which may be different from your own. Treat your co-workers with respect and keep your promises. Resolve any conflicts or disputes at the earliest opportunity, and do your job well.<br />
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</div>Wenbin Nahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11322971679501228480noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6446044284379382720.post-77243699752205938712009-07-12T15:25:00.001+08:002012-06-11T12:20:21.113+08:00Persuasion Tactics Simplified<span style="color: #ffcc99;">'</span><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhLlFUDUT0ctIlWtw1NeTmR07vWl0fqmCEL8zfoEtvogzfFez9hhjmdt8P3zqZ00V2Y0AO7pUCi3BQJe5fBJ2fJK72iWwoZTKu2rRcumSbBaGD3R3ofeatmtFbxfTpCaQbkLDHMgsQakv8/s1600-h/persuasion.jpg"><img alt="" border="0" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5356487121975401586" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhLlFUDUT0ctIlWtw1NeTmR07vWl0fqmCEL8zfoEtvogzfFez9hhjmdt8P3zqZ00V2Y0AO7pUCi3BQJe5fBJ2fJK72iWwoZTKu2rRcumSbBaGD3R3ofeatmtFbxfTpCaQbkLDHMgsQakv8/s200/persuasion.jpg" style="cursor: pointer; float: right; height: 200px; margin: 0pt 0pt 10px 10px; width: 176px;" /></a><br />
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Interested in using simple tactics to persuade others?<br />
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If you were a product development manager who was interested in raising the sales of your product, what would you do? Would you give the consumer more choices to choose from?<br />
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<u>Logically, the more choices given to a customer, the better the expected sales.</u> However, do you know that offering people more might make them want it less?<br />
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According to research conducted by behavioral scientist <a href="http://www.columbia.edu/~ss957/publications.shtml" rel="nofollow">Sheena Lyengar</a>, employees of a given company were asked to select mutual funds for a voluntary retirement plan.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiBGRZ-dWg3qfkhWhKQzaBtqJhZhQoh5mE8dJELrmU681ZZe6yqP5N4TArdW5FBNBDuK3O1BIGHynNVO0FM1QD16sMs87Jnm0AQQ7YFI9kKx9r0LjdGC3zZnXWjsvh1EWKcJe9hYvqF9ZU/s1600-h/Mutual+funds.jpg"><img alt="" border="0" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5356491311844726818" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiBGRZ-dWg3qfkhWhKQzaBtqJhZhQoh5mE8dJELrmU681ZZe6yqP5N4TArdW5FBNBDuK3O1BIGHynNVO0FM1QD16sMs87Jnm0AQQ7YFI9kKx9r0LjdGC3zZnXWjsvh1EWKcJe9hYvqF9ZU/s200/Mutual+funds.jpg" style="cursor: pointer; float: right; height: 106px; margin: 0pt 0pt 10px 10px; width: 200px;" /></a>The results show that <span style="font-weight: bold;">the more mutual funds choices that the employees were given, the lower was the participation rate</span>. When only two funds were offered, the level of participation was about 75%. However, when fifty nine funds were offered, the level of participation dropped down to about 60%.<br />
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This counter-intuitive result stems from the fact that when people are offered too many choices, this <u>frustrates the decision making process</u>, resulting in a reduced interest in the product.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh-Ze-ZTxQjCoQx2xq4aH38bpcE2bOTaYR9dhs8qqfv37zak3yLK12F3d8W-sxQXt5k_XjL3jMcXLGv1KNCh5Z0v_ldPeMohB0uqi5XtJIYSCfbTAN_E8E8g716xbP4oK6J_-xvgQ7StrU/s1600-h/Smucker+jams+in+supermarket.jpg"><img alt="" border="0" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5356490682274176914" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh-Ze-ZTxQjCoQx2xq4aH38bpcE2bOTaYR9dhs8qqfv37zak3yLK12F3d8W-sxQXt5k_XjL3jMcXLGv1KNCh5Z0v_ldPeMohB0uqi5XtJIYSCfbTAN_E8E8g716xbP4oK6J_-xvgQ7StrU/s200/Smucker+jams+in+supermarket.jpg" style="cursor: pointer; float: right; height: 129px; margin: 0pt 0pt 10px 10px; width: 200px;" /></a>This phenomenon transcends itself in supermarkets as well. <a href="http://psycnet.apa.org/index.cfm?fa=main.doiLanding&uid=2000-16701-012" rel="nofollow">According to an experiement</a> conducted at a local supermarket, when the number of flavors of jams was reduced from twenty-four to six, the percentage of people who actually made a purchase increased from 3 percent to 30 percent.<br />
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This simple persuasion strategy appears in advertisement as well.<br />
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In a study conducted by <a href="http://www.psycho.unibas.ch/index_html?content=person&person=Waenke&abteilung=Sozial&detail=cv" rel="nofollow">Michaela Wanke</a>, students were asked to compare an ad for BMW that states:<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiSsr_g6yEfN8qbThmlXmSVnbnkTBPi7EBNaQU0PRvxbxwJ8hF8QvtJsQjM01ymvV77U5Wq6MyQJCOIQosg3FPrsqglbV6QxqqqLVFCQe1s0l_GfZmsnBacVEOgKhNx1gVuqi7Wl1W4YNI/s1600-h/bmw+and+mercedes+logo.jpg"><img alt="" border="0" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5356490011771625218" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiSsr_g6yEfN8qbThmlXmSVnbnkTBPi7EBNaQU0PRvxbxwJ8hF8QvtJsQjM01ymvV77U5Wq6MyQJCOIQosg3FPrsqglbV6QxqqqLVFCQe1s0l_GfZmsnBacVEOgKhNx1gVuqi7Wl1W4YNI/s200/bmw+and+mercedes+logo.jpg" style="cursor: pointer; float: right; height: 86px; margin: 0pt 0pt 10px 10px; width: 200px;" /></a><br />
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<span style="font-style: italic;">"<span style="color: #6633ff;">BMW or Mercedes? There are many reasons to choose a BMW. Can you name 10?</span>"</span><br />
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against a slightly modified ad<br />
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<span style="font-style: italic;">"<span style="color: #6633ff;">BMW or Mercedes? There are many reasons to choose a BMW. Can you name ONE?</span>"</span><br />
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Afterward, the students were asked to give their opinions about BMW and Mercedes. Surprisingly, the first advertisement that asked for 10 reasons resulted in generally lower evaluations of BMW and higher evaluations of Mercedes compared to the modified ad.<br />
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So, what is the reason for this result?<br />
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It is speculated that when the students were asked to come up with only a single reason for the BMW, they <span style="font-weight: bold;">had an easier task</span> as compared to the more difficult task of naming ten reasons. Hence, rather than using the number of reasons to evaluate the car brands, the participants instead <u>based their judgment on the ease or difficulty of the assigned task</u> to make their selection.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEivydWf7WTGBLmDwhkStCTs_1RWLnCWrqwptHeLpVPyDN64r8boSOqVz9kVG-3HcEeRSv8Z7Zz4mfTPnNb41kPY16CupLVxoR4vlqXNhaKi3x5kQaCSXIVCVlRZPIKfY8vfRJj8-Olh1yg/s1600-h/simple+beauty.jpg"><img alt="" border="0" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5356877939806907378" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEivydWf7WTGBLmDwhkStCTs_1RWLnCWrqwptHeLpVPyDN64r8boSOqVz9kVG-3HcEeRSv8Z7Zz4mfTPnNb41kPY16CupLVxoR4vlqXNhaKi3x5kQaCSXIVCVlRZPIKfY8vfRJj8-Olh1yg/s200/simple+beauty.jpg" style="cursor: pointer; float: right; height: 150px; margin: 0pt 0pt 10px 10px; width: 200px;" /></a>This result reinforces the main idea of this post, which is often times, t<span style="font-weight: bold;">he most effective persuasion tactic</span> or strategy <span style="font-weight: bold;">is the more simpler one</span>. People inherently like easy solutions in life. Simplify your persuasive arguments by leaving out all the unnecessary clutter and just present the clear facts and simple alternatives.</div>Wenbin Nahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11322971679501228480noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6446044284379382720.post-16579589821147279872009-06-27T10:36:00.010+08:002012-06-11T12:20:55.384+08:00The Persuasion Power of Social Proof<span style="color: #ffcc99;">'</span><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhA6OHHT8Nv6uMmFHWp6MKZwWRjPrXkc6tVkvkk2c4cZsH1rM3pmUs8nWj4a89QYfxnv_s-dIcJ1EMfDzfVLZYUsI7r1mVrqk38BZ_uTgSQVAw-QelYfQRqreP4vbuTMvANL9XCd-bnVKA/s1600-h/social+proof.jpg"><img alt="" border="0" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5351836867441296642" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhA6OHHT8Nv6uMmFHWp6MKZwWRjPrXkc6tVkvkk2c4cZsH1rM3pmUs8nWj4a89QYfxnv_s-dIcJ1EMfDzfVLZYUsI7r1mVrqk38BZ_uTgSQVAw-QelYfQRqreP4vbuTMvANL9XCd-bnVKA/s200/social+proof.jpg" style="cursor: pointer; float: right; height: 134px; margin: 0pt 0pt 10px 10px; width: 200px;" /></a><br />
In my previous post, "<a href="http://communicatebetter.blogspot.com/2009/06/art-of-persuasion.html">The Art of Persuasion</a>", we have gained an understanding of the importance of persuasion.<br />
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In this post, we look at <u><span style="font-weight: bold;">harnessing the power of social proof</span></u> in increasing the effectiveness of your persuasion.<br />
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Firstly, what is "<span style="font-style: italic;">Social Proof</span>"? Wikipedia states that social proof is is a psychological phenomenon that occurs in ambiguous social situations when people are unable to determine the appropriate mode of behavior.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjTgzPdpByUpghEGJ_gmYNRq0sTIuLZ8Uj6OK5g5GwvosaUEmgoFy7fgWTxopVjwOQmoB3HXLliNKdoTYj5gm4p_rF1Ee0zD4QIzzCW4DRUpn_JvXaPl23yyLKpfxHWjGZC7Ni7ZmJIzHY/s1600-h/public+library+quiet.jpg"><img alt="" border="0" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5351837206640776210" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjTgzPdpByUpghEGJ_gmYNRq0sTIuLZ8Uj6OK5g5GwvosaUEmgoFy7fgWTxopVjwOQmoB3HXLliNKdoTYj5gm4p_rF1Ee0zD4QIzzCW4DRUpn_JvXaPl23yyLKpfxHWjGZC7Ni7ZmJIzHY/s200/public+library+quiet.jpg" style="cursor: pointer; float: right; height: 133px; margin: 0pt 0pt 10px 10px; width: 200px;" /></a>It means that in many common situations such as <span style="font-style: italic;">shopping at a supermarket</span>, <span style="font-style: italic;">driving in a traffic jam</span> or <span style="font-style: italic;">browsing at a public library</span>, people will pick up social cues on the appropriate response based on the actions of others. </div>
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This phenomenon <span style="color: #000099;">assumes that</span> <span style="color: red;">surrounding people possess more knowledge about the situation</span>, and will deem the behavior of others as appropriate or better informed. </div>
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Social influence in general can lead to conformity of large groups of individuals in either correct or mistaken choices, a phenomenon sometimes referred to as herd behavior. </div>
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Many different examples of social proof exist. For example:<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgOJr6QJW_lnrks_tfXaWZY_EXtAN0MOBZhyphenhyphends0eXScT9Uxr0ceIMoIKnnBZ80gxXDsVn2pcL9q9Ke_shuGx5WmSw7rrG6zzMqCk71sWmwt8Tu0IcRIg_H1akjypx_P-hqW3XjHkStjyoI/s1600-h/nightclubs+long+lines.jpg"><img alt="" border="0" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5351837635995882674" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgOJr6QJW_lnrks_tfXaWZY_EXtAN0MOBZhyphenhyphends0eXScT9Uxr0ceIMoIKnnBZ80gxXDsVn2pcL9q9Ke_shuGx5WmSw7rrG6zzMqCk71sWmwt8Tu0IcRIg_H1akjypx_P-hqW3XjHkStjyoI/s200/nightclubs+long+lines.jpg" style="cursor: pointer; float: right; height: 162px; margin: 0pt 0pt 10px 10px; width: 200px;" /></a>Certain nightclubs and bars employ social proof in an effective manner in order to increase the popularity of their venues.<br />
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By deliberately reducing the rate of entry, this artificially causes the line to be longer, thus customers might perceive this long line as a positive signal of the place's desirability. This might be the case while in fact the venue might be mediocre and nowhere near its full capacity.<br />
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Similarly, television shows and theaters use social proof to increase the effectiveness of their offerings. <br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhQ7gEa2Y7UKzmlav1tAL2N4y2EQL3GJKXpzTfUB_8ITdIkzs4yrGu6o00idb_aBIb-yhiEh9qykXr5uZf_B1VJLbCCmYYOQlMomS_EzD-ngyRVv9OfEYpr2LMOPVqk_N0DAisHgA3Ewns/s1600-h/canned+laughter.gif"><img alt="" border="0" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5351838500192936978" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhQ7gEa2Y7UKzmlav1tAL2N4y2EQL3GJKXpzTfUB_8ITdIkzs4yrGu6o00idb_aBIb-yhiEh9qykXr5uZf_B1VJLbCCmYYOQlMomS_EzD-ngyRVv9OfEYpr2LMOPVqk_N0DAisHgA3Ewns/s200/canned+laughter.gif" style="cursor: pointer; float: right; height: 162px; margin: 0pt 0pt 10px 10px; width: 118px;" /></a></div>
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Television shows increase the perceived "funniness" of a show by merely playing canned laughter at key "funny" moments.<br />
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Theaters similarly sometimes use audience members, specially planted within the audience who are instructed to give ovations at pre-arranged times. Such ovations might be perceived by non-expert audience members as signals of the performance's quality.</div>
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Now that we have established the existence and validity of social proof, <u>how can we use social proof to improve the persuasiveness of our arguments</u>? To learn how the large organizations use this, let us look at a few examples.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjG6q2XIPBOQIMIjJ0IzuvU6etJvaOAYfJ6PWh3bwqbV4k3wVtcteSSSc9OQRZZpaFTsX7S7pTnyZwt9VSUvqceqyvQKIn5VRp-GcKZPEuoaUFIiAQzsiqq0i-Zot68kq3mrS1vgBCw9Io/s1600-h/mcdonalds.jpg"><img alt="" border="0" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5351838919658239874" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjG6q2XIPBOQIMIjJ0IzuvU6etJvaOAYfJ6PWh3bwqbV4k3wVtcteSSSc9OQRZZpaFTsX7S7pTnyZwt9VSUvqceqyvQKIn5VRp-GcKZPEuoaUFIiAQzsiqq0i-Zot68kq3mrS1vgBCw9Io/s200/mcdonalds.jpg" style="cursor: pointer; float: right; height: 160px; margin: 0pt 0pt 10px 10px; width: 200px;" /></a></div>
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When you pass by a nearby McDonalds, you might notice a sign stating "Billions and billions served" The local KFC advertisement at my area states that "Millions of taste buds can't be wrong". <span style="color: #cc0000;">These advertisements use the power of social proof to persuade others to take a desired course of action</span>.</div>
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There is little doubt that other people's behavior is a powerful source of social influence. Do take advance of the persuasive power of the herd. It <span style="color: #000099;">costs very little to apply</span>, and all it takes is to <span style="color: #000099;">change a few words in your advertisement, speech or argument</span>.<br />
<br /></div>Wenbin Nahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11322971679501228480noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6446044284379382720.post-9554346647538873322009-06-10T21:11:00.016+08:002012-06-11T12:23:05.730+08:00The Art of Persuasion<div>
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<img alt="" border="0" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5345692808258299010" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhQuetun0bVQuRJNdl6jr4efXO6d4rsqiXz-7vA8EP-LOh_s7KCZGm_cp66x3sRbTgAgDqXxzYXD495hZFO7p7pWBK-fUQAWiLyVSOY_b992_tsgppT67gRlsDebXwZgz1Xtof4ij-rALU/s200/yes+success" style="cursor: pointer; float: right; height: 132px; margin: 0pt 0pt 10px 10px; width: 200px;" />In the art of persuasion, there is a small and simple word that everybody craves.<br />
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The word is "yes".</div>
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Just because that yes is simple and understandable, that does not mean that we should be fooled into believing that anybody can obtain it easily from another person. </div>
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In Robert Cialdini's book <a href="http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ASIN/0205609996/giftrevi-20">Influence: Science and Practice</a>, he talks about the six universal principles of social influence. Let us take a look at what these six principles are.</div>
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<img alt="" border="0" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5345697194064999106" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhb3SwVkh0caLyQBOkVGscaCh426AKHQZZ9BeloL4i1QYpBbXUBWEa1KyLu9JaBBi_eN_UUuU8NUdXtK-kjpZE0SdJjZzXzLUe6WKiKuVnh5coPtYXpvbB80jW9MxxnquvbJOZWbm2Xemc/s200/authority" style="cursor: pointer; float: right; height: 200px; margin: 0pt 0pt 10px 10px; width: 133px;" /><br />
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<b>1) Reciprocation -</b> The feeling of obligation to return favours performed for us.</div>
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<b>2) Authority -</b> Looking towards the guidance of experts to show us the way.</div>
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<b>3) Commitment/Consistency -</b> The feeling that each individual has of acting consistently with their own commitments and values.</div>
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<b>4) Scarcity -</b> The less available a resource, the more people will want it.</div>
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<b>5) Liking -</b> The more we like a person, the more we want to say yes to them.</div>
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<img alt="" border="0" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5345699800278353986" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh4zqF2fpz9R9FPXbmelxARXvKkznDnHxZ4mZmmP-DqlPdWNPB2dBG6Eld9tuD_HzIq7gtIqwuCUq37DKOmVOO-GcfCMMnNMjJ5_HRu4YPRn3QlCDw_ZbGYEt46302bzQDTgFJ4m_QjQ8M/s200/looking+at+others.jpg" style="cursor: pointer; float: right; height: 162px; margin: 0pt 0pt 10px 10px; width: 200px;" /><br />
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<b>6) Social Proof -</b> Looking to the behaviour of others to guide ones behaviour.</div>
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These six principles act as the foundation for the majority of successful social influence strategies. Aside from these six factors, there are also many other persuasion techniques that are based on psychological factors.</div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: red;">Everyone persuades for a living</span>. There is no way around it. Whether if you are a sales professional, an entrepreneur, or even a stay at home parent, if you are unable to convince others to your way of thinking, you will be constantly left behind.</div>
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Donald Trump said it best, "<i>Study the art of persuasion. Practice it. Develop an understanding of its profound value across all aspects of life.</i>"</div>
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In upcoming posts, we will be looking at some tips and strategies that each and everyone of us can utilise in our everyday lives to influence and persuade.<br />
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<a href="http://communicatebetter.blogspot.com/2009/06/persuasion-power-of-social-proof.html">The Persuasion Power of Social Proof</a><br />
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</div>Wenbin Nahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11322971679501228480noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6446044284379382720.post-60807808498165641912009-05-16T22:13:00.022+08:002012-06-11T12:28:10.390+08:00Talk in terms of the other person's interests<span style="color: rgb(255, 204, 153);">'</span><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi27A5bSigPFvyn-4ZLFdHAh7RFTfwxq7OdyYrvP-x9NozS-IzPd7J7LWtGXx_2vAW-smBec7JpH0lSLTVySy5UOLY5KAIu45gW0jVIhdiBG_LIt1hpxMZfMStnIIrdxG3bR9DXvu2_xUM/s1600-h/other+person%27s+interests.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 0pt 10px 10px; float: right; cursor: pointer; width: 200px; height: 167px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi27A5bSigPFvyn-4ZLFdHAh7RFTfwxq7OdyYrvP-x9NozS-IzPd7J7LWtGXx_2vAW-smBec7JpH0lSLTVySy5UOLY5KAIu45gW0jVIhdiBG_LIt1hpxMZfMStnIIrdxG3bR9DXvu2_xUM/s200/other+person%27s+interests.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5336450366670338818" border="0" /></a>In Dale Carnegie's international best seller, <a href="http://communicatebetter.blogspot.com/2008/08/how-to-win-friends-and-influence-people.html">How to Win Friends </a><a href="http://communicatebetter.blogspot.com/2008/08/how-to-win-friends-and-influence-people.html">and Influence People</a>, we have seen how we can become more likable by <a href="http://communicatebetter.blogspot.com/2008/09/become-genuinely-interested-in-other.html">Become Genuinely Interested in Other People</a>.<br /><br />In this post, we will build upon this post by exploring the aspect of <u>talking in terms of the other person's </u><u>interests</u>.<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjG91OzmXJxfu_ZXSDl3PAhMnKC8Se5EQ4Xr2W0bBFPGa1flAVWPqeyz53j6z6nBzcryHNj-CrG3ZAwLdO454vCaQVxpzIOkk1uSA-8gzCImIBbSQ9T_QI_IEWsktlSQ9lix_RdunHprx4/s1600-h/genuine+interest+in+the+other+person.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 0pt 10px 10px; float: right; cursor: pointer; width: 200px; height: 124px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjG91OzmXJxfu_ZXSDl3PAhMnKC8Se5EQ4Xr2W0bBFPGa1flAVWPqeyz53j6z6nBzcryHNj-CrG3ZAwLdO454vCaQVxpzIOkk1uSA-8gzCImIBbSQ9T_QI_IEWsktlSQ9lix_RdunHprx4/s200/genuine+interest+in+the+other+person.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5336450990331350466" border="0" /></a>To be successful in relationships, a person will need to learn to <span style="font-weight: bold;">talk in terms of the other person's interests</span>. This rule holds true in many instances from social situations where you are meeting someone for the very first time, to married couples.<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgIlvSvAEBRMb0o3NQs3kmcJxLa7oLlDvjGNo2vdkymh-C6jg3AL_SnY_USW8dGmWIPXQ7QIrgcIEDZhD4h_d-tQjH84SYglsA4STSUAi9FenkFSSdl7xWWqo6eOR2iU4TARueRUcAfrtg/s1600-h/caring+for+others.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 0pt 10px 10px; float: right; cursor: pointer; width: 158px; height: 182px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgIlvSvAEBRMb0o3NQs3kmcJxLa7oLlDvjGNo2vdkymh-C6jg3AL_SnY_USW8dGmWIPXQ7QIrgcIEDZhD4h_d-tQjH84SYglsA4STSUAi9FenkFSSdl7xWWqo6eOR2iU4TARueRUcAfrtg/s200/caring+for+others.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5336455145618241442" border="0" /></a>We cannot achieve this if we have no idea what the other person truly values, cares about or is really interested in.<br /><br />Let the other person do most of the talking by <span style="color: rgb(204, 0, 0);">asking questions</span> and them <span style="color: rgb(204, 0, 0);">listening to them actively</span> and <span style="color: rgb(204, 0, 0);">connecting with them</span> at the level of what they value. You should have a <span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 153);">genuine interest</span> in the other person. Then, and only then, can you sincerely talk in terms of the other person’s interest.<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgxe8x0YzjMWL_1pZ3NLTNnZAVKMNHiEBenBKU0jdGZm6UkKIg9YPFc7FtM7e45AUvIadyJyDkQAGFTyorG6dXAen4-rhYhhqLSKzhvfUYpKHAm0dvbmaaGhRT_33jF0cEBcjuIg66ezWk/s1600-h/speech+audience.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 0pt 10px 10px; float: right; cursor: pointer; width: 166px; height: 200px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgxe8x0YzjMWL_1pZ3NLTNnZAVKMNHiEBenBKU0jdGZm6UkKIg9YPFc7FtM7e45AUvIadyJyDkQAGFTyorG6dXAen4-rhYhhqLSKzhvfUYpKHAm0dvbmaaGhRT_33jF0cEBcjuIg66ezWk/s200/speech+audience.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5336451439883631474" border="0" /></a>Similarly, this piece of advice even holds true when giving a speech: <u>The speech isn’t about you</u>. It isn’t even about your expertise. <span style="color: rgb(153, 0, 0);">It’s about your audience</span> and how they can benefit from what you say.<br /><br />According to Howard Z. Herzig, a leader in the field of employee communications, <u>talking in terms of the other person's interests pays off for both parties</u>. When you take the time and effort to find out what interests the person you are speaking to, <span style="color: rgb(153, 0, 0);">the reward will be an enlargement of your life</span> each time you speak to someone.<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjgi3nSRjYVKIQhvKkxnxAZGYwy0eZMOjTS30Ws3hUoDr-V80GBIwB0XKKGJh2CA1TsTqP4fqW28B4dKpWi8-73NqswqaUFGokBVAI3ZCuMRjVxQFFUmOmm114PGeGE4rgjfPND1zBnkrE/s1600-h/golden+heart.gif"><img style="margin: 0pt 0pt 10px 10px; float: right; cursor: pointer; width: 200px; height: 200px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjgi3nSRjYVKIQhvKkxnxAZGYwy0eZMOjTS30Ws3hUoDr-V80GBIwB0XKKGJh2CA1TsTqP4fqW28B4dKpWi8-73NqswqaUFGokBVAI3ZCuMRjVxQFFUmOmm114PGeGE4rgjfPND1zBnkrE/s200/golden+heart.gif" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5336452594734932946" border="0" /></a>You've probably heard of the Golden Rule, which is "<span style="font-style: italic;">Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.</span>" Why not apply this rule to the area of interpersonal communication? Author Tony Allesandra has come up with the Platinum Rule, which is "<span style="font-style: italic;"><u>Treat others the way </u></span><span style="font-style: italic;"><u>they</u></span><span style="font-style: italic;"><u> want to be treated.</u></span>" This is an important rule that can help guide the way in which you treat others.<br /><br />This article is one of the six ways to make people like you as mentioned in Dale Carnegie's book <a href="http://communicatebetter.blogspot.com/2008/08/how-to-win-friends-and-influence-people.html">How to Win Friends and Influence People</a>. If you enjoyed this post, do bookmark this post or subscribe to this blog.<br /><br />If you like this article, you might also enjoy<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Fundamental Techniques in Handling People</span><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">1. </span><a href="http://communicatebetter.blogspot.com/2008/08/dont-criticize-condemn-or-complain.html">Don't criticize, condemn or complain</a>.<br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">2.</span> <a href="http://communicatebetter.blogspot.com/2008/08/give-honest-and-sincere-appreciation.html">Give honest and sincere appreciation</a>.<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiicQ9NY_mHA1rULU9wsb7p5R4ORTLctZRaRVdx-s6une9p1hL9BXVLV41sbDlu3jZ9uOqVJ0tEKNku9V8uMTdS9FFQ49tapB4nHyHs_JUeLZiwqSiMHOGJq29fMqWoygkvTQ-CNCWFd8U/s1600-h/smiling+people.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 0pt 10px 10px; float: right; cursor: pointer; width: 188px; height: 132px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiicQ9NY_mHA1rULU9wsb7p5R4ORTLctZRaRVdx-s6une9p1hL9BXVLV41sbDlu3jZ9uOqVJ0tEKNku9V8uMTdS9FFQ49tapB4nHyHs_JUeLZiwqSiMHOGJq29fMqWoygkvTQ-CNCWFd8U/s200/smiling+people.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5229947997456168210" border="0" /></a><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">3.</span><a href="http://communicatebetter.blogspot.com/2008/09/arouse-in-other-person-eager-want.html"> Arouse in the other person an eager want</a>.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Six ways to make people like you</span><br /><div style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-weight: bold;"><u>1.</u></span><u> <a href="http://communicatebetter.blogspot.com/2008/09/become-genuinely-interested-in-other.html">Become genuinely interested in other people</a>.</u></div><span style="font-weight: bold;"><u>2. </u></span><u><a href="http://communicatebetter.blogspot.com/2008/10/power-of-smile.html">Smile</a>.<br /></u><span style="font-weight: bold;">3.</span> <a href="http://communicatebetter.blogspot.com/2008/12/remembering-persons-name.html">Remember that a person's name is to that person the sweetest and most important sound in any language</a>.<br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">4.</span> <a href="http://communicatebetter.blogspot.com/2009/01/three-different-levels-of-listening.html">Be a good listener. Encourage others to talk about themselves</a>.Wenbin Nahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11322971679501228480noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6446044284379382720.post-42913754047462693212009-05-02T01:17:00.013+08:002012-06-11T12:28:10.390+08:00Conversation Tips<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgEQhWeto4_hqR2uU3f3v5PR6MmMtiq_sS5onxAMhBR_-yf6LHg5EILkKnZcDSbpn9PzbLb6bMHrdT39AaKKwNO-kWotOnr5Izsl7X5jo24p3fNW3LdoCur7hW-yFfWpqgbPhC71Y-MmbU/s1600-h/girl+body+language.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 0pt 10px 10px; float: right; cursor: pointer; width: 134px; height: 201px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgEQhWeto4_hqR2uU3f3v5PR6MmMtiq_sS5onxAMhBR_-yf6LHg5EILkKnZcDSbpn9PzbLb6bMHrdT39AaKKwNO-kWotOnr5Izsl7X5jo24p3fNW3LdoCur7hW-yFfWpqgbPhC71Y-MmbU/s200/girl+body+language.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5331089917994307746" border="0" /></a><br />We engage in numerous conversations in our daily lives. Thus, it is important to learn good habits for engaging in a conversation.<br /><br />Here are three conversation tips that can help. They focus on <span style="font-style: italic;">Listening</span>, <span style="font-style: italic;">Leading</span> as well as identifying <span style="font-style: italic;">Non Verbal Cues</span>.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Listen and Pause before Speaking</span><br /><br />When you are listening to someone, it is often times <u>a good idea to pause before you start talking</u>. When you are listening, if you could wait just a little bit longer before you start speaking, you might find that the other person has not finished. They will often speak just a little bit longer, and what you're doing is that you're demonstrating really good listening skills when you do this.<br /><br />Secondly, you are showing the other person that you care enough to really listen. When you pause before speaking, that silence, even if it lasts for five seconds, <span style="color: rgb(153, 0, 0);">creates anticipation</span> and also <span style="color: rgb(153, 0, 0);">encourages the other person to pay attention</span>. This adds to the depth of your conversation.<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhj7mfF0bD_DzPFDe0HH73RLKiMG2dipg21nHD6JLJL48mFsyiezCP5-2zXglWnS1Rl-6_yQfICq-T4hNQb57dzabRD4p87uxUN429fzuISrJeFY2T5g86Lk9OcUfY7CldhGg5_TQK43zI/s1600-h/emotional+girl.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 0pt 10px 10px; float: right; cursor: pointer; width: 200px; height: 142px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhj7mfF0bD_DzPFDe0HH73RLKiMG2dipg21nHD6JLJL48mFsyiezCP5-2zXglWnS1Rl-6_yQfICq-T4hNQb57dzabRD4p87uxUN429fzuISrJeFY2T5g86Lk9OcUfY7CldhGg5_TQK43zI/s200/emotional+girl.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5331066773559831858" border="0" /></a><span style="font-weight: bold;">Lead and Pace with Emotion</span><br /><br />It is good when you are having a conversation, to take charge and lead a conversation. <u>Lead a conversation with pace and with emotion</u>. You achieve this by <span style="color: rgb(153, 0, 0);">speaking with enthusiasm</span>.<br /><br />By smiling, and by speaking with energy and enthusiasm, you become almost irresistible to the other person. He or she will not be able to resist following you. Leading with emotion and <span style="color: rgb(153, 0, 0);">sets the pace for a new level of interest and excitement</span>.<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhE6EB14MfC3PRS3vpXx8Fu7L3ywb-ENKmUzo2e54onyy3ya86oZCW3u99D4dPiJmUTcz0YCXWaFM5i51cEZvl0xagNrACBqdpLHTVyDA73yvzxfVWuI2FnhsUxxN5p1rZetunH3_iT1S8/s1600-h/non+verbal+communication.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 0pt 10px 10px; float: right; cursor: pointer; width: 200px; height: 118px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhE6EB14MfC3PRS3vpXx8Fu7L3ywb-ENKmUzo2e54onyy3ya86oZCW3u99D4dPiJmUTcz0YCXWaFM5i51cEZvl0xagNrACBqdpLHTVyDA73yvzxfVWuI2FnhsUxxN5p1rZetunH3_iT1S8/s200/non+verbal+communication.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5331067293736767746" border="0" /></a><span style="font-weight: bold;">Address Non Verbal Feedback</span><br /><br />The final conversational tip is to <u>pay attention</u> and to <u>address non verbal feedback</u> that exists in all conversations.<br /><br />Lets say that you are talking to someone, and that person says, "<span style="font-style: italic;">That's very interesting, I'm really interested in that.</span>" But if you really pay attention, you can see that the voice tone and body language does not match what she says. So by paying attention to the non verbal feedback, you will know that she is not really interested.<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiWHfBzLHFPa04s8h9iyLnIYzYoS0YwSue-56xCFe0fDmBDCVyQFmPRJjjyAI7CYt-mw47DTXJBwcNX0mpIn1DBa0Dmopo9JEkuPwLS_v9S3Kc950vWc1uAOu5MyuPxjcU3SqsxuBrRKgE/s1600-h/pretty+girl+listening.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 0pt 10px 10px; float: right; cursor: pointer; width: 150px; height: 200px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiWHfBzLHFPa04s8h9iyLnIYzYoS0YwSue-56xCFe0fDmBDCVyQFmPRJjjyAI7CYt-mw47DTXJBwcNX0mpIn1DBa0Dmopo9JEkuPwLS_v9S3Kc950vWc1uAOu5MyuPxjcU3SqsxuBrRKgE/s200/pretty+girl+listening.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5331065949297745602" border="0" /></a>So how do you address that? You can address it directly if you know the person well. You could say "<span style="font-style: italic;">Well, you don't sound very interested, would you like to talk about something different?</span>" or you could simply change the topic of conversation automatically because you know that the other person really isn't that interested. So that is what i mean by addressing non verbal feedback.<br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(153, 0, 0);">Don't just pay attention to what the other person is saying, Watch and adjust your approach depending on the body language.</span><br /><br />Utilize these conversation tips in your everyday life in order to become a better conversationalist. If you are interested in learning more about this topic, you might consider checking out my post on <a href="http://communicatebetter.blogspot.com/2008/12/social-situations-and-small-talk.html">Social Situations and Small Talk</a>. You could also check out my post on <a href="http://communicatebetter.blogspot.com/2008/07/first-impressions.html">First Impressions</a> as well as the followup post on <a href="http://communicatebetter.blogspot.com/2008/07/how-to-make-great-first-impression.html">How to Make a Great First Impression</a>.Wenbin Nahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11322971679501228480noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6446044284379382720.post-50163030298293251202009-04-19T11:29:00.008+08:002012-06-11T12:28:10.391+08:00Improve Your Communication Skills<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhTSri8ijHaFLJY-0RYLeBedXHDcynpOLgOFgpphlNuugYmghxhgysPy0nJgCzD8PmNu_lomyV26TUI0umwavaGGVY90ZoBg0LQD4TKSdLA2XSHosl0Gfa16HtEh73Qdcho1wDvmqloJ2I/s1600-h/talking+girl.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 0pt 10px 10px; float: right; cursor: pointer; width: 142px; height: 200px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhTSri8ijHaFLJY-0RYLeBedXHDcynpOLgOFgpphlNuugYmghxhgysPy0nJgCzD8PmNu_lomyV26TUI0umwavaGGVY90ZoBg0LQD4TKSdLA2XSHosl0Gfa16HtEh73Qdcho1wDvmqloJ2I/s200/talking+girl.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5326076137881504354" border="0" /></a><br />Communication skills is an important aspects of our life, be it when we are engaging with our partners, our friends or our work colleagues.<br /><br />Being able to inspire other individuals through your communication will allow your life to become more fruitful and enriched. As such, it is important to constantly seek to improve your communication skills.<br /><br />Here are <u>five tips on how you can improve your communication skills</u> and <u>become a better communicator</u>.<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiWmi5HuYYuSuVgABrU3cftFbmlr3qnU-uo-hO9igBFySiafB7wZCs8sDcoh1M-THfEXTxs0r5VgSGEm0mRVTpxXdPr4ztEdqXcMDQ7wKVb6jGg2R0Q9KmPOsURwAQ7RJChb26rl9t1sCk/s1600-h/asking+questions.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 0pt 10px 10px; float: right; cursor: pointer; width: 170px; height: 200px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiWmi5HuYYuSuVgABrU3cftFbmlr3qnU-uo-hO9igBFySiafB7wZCs8sDcoh1M-THfEXTxs0r5VgSGEm0mRVTpxXdPr4ztEdqXcMDQ7wKVb6jGg2R0Q9KmPOsURwAQ7RJChb26rl9t1sCk/s200/asking+questions.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5326216587938047938" border="0" /></a><span style="font-weight: bold;">1) Ask Open Ended Questions</span><br /><br />In order to allow your conversation to flow, it is useful to use the technique of asking open-ended questions. Open-ended questions often start with words such as “when”, “what” and “why”. An example of an open-ended question is a statement such as: “<span style="font-style: italic;">So, what are some of your favorite foods?</span>”<br /><br />It is best to avoid the closed-question. An example of the closed-question is a statement such as “<span style="font-style: italic;">Do you like to read</span>”, which only invokes a yes or no type of response. Nothing kills a conversation quite like a closed question, because it can only be answered with a yes or no answer. Thus, do use more open-ended questions and this will hopefully lead to more free-flowing conversations.<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhWiEFJ7yh_ksxoTnVzSqjnKMnNb5TX_alFmp1Z2B2LrgeYfmDhBXOSwY7lsY6KrCKLgGLqPu8KJivLVgANNr240Sal6jomV7bl9agKDM8Qclj3sOd8X2aEARxwVP8dDhfnECLD0MFum68/s1600-h/active+listening.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 0pt 10px 10px; float: right; cursor: pointer; width: 200px; height: 132px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhWiEFJ7yh_ksxoTnVzSqjnKMnNb5TX_alFmp1Z2B2LrgeYfmDhBXOSwY7lsY6KrCKLgGLqPu8KJivLVgANNr240Sal6jomV7bl9agKDM8Qclj3sOd8X2aEARxwVP8dDhfnECLD0MFum68/s200/active+listening.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5326217318605595298" border="0" /></a><span style="font-weight: bold;">2) Employ Active Listening</span><br /><br />Active listening is a really useful technique as it lets the other person know that you’ve really listened to what they have been saying.<br /><br />More importantly, it also conveys to the other person that you have understood what the other person is trying to say. The post "<a href="http://www.communicatebetter.blogspot.com/2009/01/three-different-levels-of-listening.html">The T</a><a href="http://www.communicatebetter.blogspot.com/2009/01/three-different-levels-of-listening.html">hree Different Levels of Listening</a>" elaborates more about the importance of listening as well as more characteristics of active listening.<br /><br />Active listeners follow a conversation and are able to summarize the essence of what the other person is trying to say, guiding the conversation forward.<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiC9ypXJc2Hm5C6v5BUT_hsqiIy3VB_1qFG2wNCAyIaoibBw24gk3isA6582PKrGo8iti8lduTsFSze66CegL7qtA5KErV-KiV3GuDpVuBF3uOd0ozcj29FRJFqXONcokQ9JaWyy6Di9aA/s1600-h/engaging+the+other+person.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 0pt 10px 10px; float: right; cursor: pointer; width: 150px; height: 200px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiC9ypXJc2Hm5C6v5BUT_hsqiIy3VB_1qFG2wNCAyIaoibBw24gk3isA6582PKrGo8iti8lduTsFSze66CegL7qtA5KErV-KiV3GuDpVuBF3uOd0ozcj29FRJFqXONcokQ9JaWyy6Di9aA/s200/engaging+the+other+person.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5326091685666048178" border="0" /></a><span style="font-weight: bold;">3) Engage With The Other Person</span><br /><br />If someone else is trying to engage you in a conversation, your body language is really important. Try not to continue with the task that you are already doing. Instead, what you should do is to stop whatever it is that you are doing and face the other individual, and give them the time which they deserve.<br /><br />Remember that <u>good communication involves engaging with the other individual</u>. Give them the time and respect that they deserve.<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjCkf_jg_mbGYW7tgZjvVg6Zuw16t7Ia0kn1y4Fzj7bm3cv6FC4pJ9TcPcPIpuU-u3OF_f0if4avvnEEgXOTD7IPKxdxRbAciSEY_bQI5c90Cfa_2N-LYn1omSbQpcHYWLZEhxPZ4EUu8w/s1600-h/girl+thinking.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 0pt 10px 10px; float: right; cursor: pointer; width: 136px; height: 200px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjCkf_jg_mbGYW7tgZjvVg6Zuw16t7Ia0kn1y4Fzj7bm3cv6FC4pJ9TcPcPIpuU-u3OF_f0if4avvnEEgXOTD7IPKxdxRbAciSEY_bQI5c90Cfa_2N-LYn1omSbQpcHYWLZEhxPZ4EUu8w/s200/girl+thinking.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5326079217097679426" border="0" /></a><span style="font-weight: bold;">4) Don’t Make Assumptions</span><br /><br /><u>Do not jump to conclusions</u> when you are in a conversation with someone. Don’t assume that you know what they are thinking or what they might feel about a particular topic. Instead, it is much better to ask them if they are ok with this or if they feel all right about that.<br /><br />Take that person’s thoughts and beliefs into careful consideration and rather than projecting your own thoughts and feelings on them. Remember, don’t make assumptions.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">5) Avoid Using Antagonistic Sentences<br /><br /></span><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh3e1q8boPR5t5OiNVCbLvnimap_ighGJx_MaGnwRjDHkN6bpnoIkTCLtYYRauVopCfdocbTcTq0JdLMVbQf5SLDub9O5u4Jkljwfycl1x0ab8K9zIQoFH3Q_SFyROvC8hDc8bh2tAdcC4/s1600-h/sitting+in+my+chair.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 0pt 10px 10px; float: right; cursor: pointer; width: 200px; height: 150px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh3e1q8boPR5t5OiNVCbLvnimap_ighGJx_MaGnwRjDHkN6bpnoIkTCLtYYRauVopCfdocbTcTq0JdLMVbQf5SLDub9O5u4Jkljwfycl1x0ab8K9zIQoFH3Q_SFyROvC8hDc8bh2tAdcC4/s200/sitting+in+my+chair.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5326077838676859474" border="0" /></a>An example of an antagonistic sentence is, “<span style="font-style: italic;">You’re sitting in my chair.</span>” An antagonistic sentence can be seen as a form of attack on the other individual.<br /><br />Hence, it is much <u>better to use softer and less direct sentences</u> such as “<span style="font-style: italic;">Excuse me, I think you’ve taken my seat.</span>” This approach is much less confrontational and which will mean that you are more likely to encounter a lot fewer conflicts in your life.<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgv-44qhvEhhyD8DlbuOKWr46WDUkZIOUXq4PKQg7pTmR2xKlgRV1FpUCDaB65U7FnSM_hUMdkfRtc_e6NDEVtAbCud3a2GM1qzo7xvxzsZxZ_axsTmbKOqUsM0jPu8d1nT0C_F2cFNjc0/s1600-h/smiling+girls.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 0pt 10px 10px; float: right; cursor: pointer; width: 200px; height: 150px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgv-44qhvEhhyD8DlbuOKWr46WDUkZIOUXq4PKQg7pTmR2xKlgRV1FpUCDaB65U7FnSM_hUMdkfRtc_e6NDEVtAbCud3a2GM1qzo7xvxzsZxZ_axsTmbKOqUsM0jPu8d1nT0C_F2cFNjc0/s200/smiling+girls.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5326068795488765074" border="0" /></a>In this post, we have seen five tips on how we can improve on our communication skills. Actually, it is not that difficult to improve your communication skills. All we have to do is to <a href="http://www.communicatebetter.blogspot.com/2008/09/become-genuinely-interested-in-other.html">be genuinely interested in the other person</a>. A <a href="http://www.communicatebetter.blogspot.com/2008/10/power-of-smile.html">smile</a> here and there goes a long way.<br /><br />Follow these guidelines and soon you will be on <a href="http://www.communicatebetter.blogspot.com/2008/04/path-to-developing-better-interpersonal.html">the path to better interpersonal communication skills</a>.Wenbin Nahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11322971679501228480noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6446044284379382720.post-68736288549587317182009-04-04T13:30:00.007+08:002012-06-11T12:28:10.391+08:00What is Important in your Life?<span style="color: rgb(255, 204, 153);">'</span><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgCNp32DN0xR7NO6YjLUJQXuqi_D8xxGPaOBKG5UnVnkIYk854-FKK1SDYQVCKeKRG0CwyYRxOtZsZ7nFi0Pz0uqunK8CmqwXIJU5A4kvVBpsm6lImG14JZUxp3UHPZlDaCutRpW0kaNqo/s1600-h/black+hole.gif"><img style="margin: 0pt 0pt 10px 10px; float: right; cursor: pointer; width: 204px; height: 137px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgCNp32DN0xR7NO6YjLUJQXuqi_D8xxGPaOBKG5UnVnkIYk854-FKK1SDYQVCKeKRG0CwyYRxOtZsZ7nFi0Pz0uqunK8CmqwXIJU5A4kvVBpsm6lImG14JZUxp3UHPZlDaCutRpW0kaNqo/s200/black+hole.gif" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5319331257468114658" border="0" /></a><span style="font-size:130%;">The world is coming to an end!...</span><br /><br />…according to the program “Apocalypse Now”, which is a program from the discovery channel.<br /><br />According to that program, <span style="color: rgb(204, 0, 0);">the world can come to an end in a number of ways</span>.<br /><br />For example, a black hole could easily destroy us. Certain black holes move through space at tremendous speeds.<br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh7HdY4RE2johjWNfmbrx-Iy1jZjr-zIC1mJz1SmtUGkKHQ_sdNlXgYe7vyrOY2V2_BBXnkmMYobVlI9vsPPyYaKNz4mpSBZj8UUOygaTAuW83X_NAYsTrNZU9Hn4OAx2_EQ033UYGhSPc/s1600-h/gamma+ray+radiation.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 0pt 10px 10px; float: right; cursor: pointer; width: 206px; height: 165px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh7HdY4RE2johjWNfmbrx-Iy1jZjr-zIC1mJz1SmtUGkKHQ_sdNlXgYe7vyrOY2V2_BBXnkmMYobVlI9vsPPyYaKNz4mpSBZj8UUOygaTAuW83X_NAYsTrNZU9Hn4OAx2_EQ033UYGhSPc/s200/gamma+ray+radiation.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5319329705790323842" border="0" /></a>A black hole could be headed towards us right now and swallow the entire world up in an instance. Even if it does not hit us, it might push the earth out of its current orbit into deep space where we might freeze in a couple of weeks or nearer to the sun where we might be roasted.<br /><br />The formation of a black hole similarly causes an intense burst of gamma ray radiation. Such a burst, if aimed directly at earth, could eliminate all of what we call biology as we know it.<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiy-500sBsWbm7_dZhJ9Zzo6W84s6-sCpxywQffvOevFMW53nGZ1RnDr289y-qIrnAswNN0_sXFCQbnTsp_fmGF0SPWH0dGSttk0DZCxa6L137VBLOTwelTzSHJJ1TtN3ZgilNRiqsB7mk/s1600-h/snowball+earth.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 0pt 10px 10px; float: right; cursor: pointer; width: 197px; height: 200px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiy-500sBsWbm7_dZhJ9Zzo6W84s6-sCpxywQffvOevFMW53nGZ1RnDr289y-qIrnAswNN0_sXFCQbnTsp_fmGF0SPWH0dGSttk0DZCxa6L137VBLOTwelTzSHJJ1TtN3ZgilNRiqsB7mk/s200/snowball+earth.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5319332236428758210" border="0" /></a>The earth itself is also subject to cyclic fluctuations in its climate. It seems like for the past ten thousand years or so, we are currently experiencing a warm phase. Soon, the pendulum will inevitably swing back and the earth will be faced with an ice age again.<br /><br />If all of the above does not get us, the death of our sun when it starts burns out surely will.<br /><br /><span style="font-size:130%;">What is the purpose of all of saying all this?<br /><br /></span><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi447ARFVjxFV1YueAJgntGQ6tMLwC-GAwLFV8aDlkbUfdNhDSAILcDAKAYBW4kptBcQU2KIn-EpaMpUPYsUJlZ4EmC_yolZaLccTAj2KNVYHP4OWpfz8O-MqOil_ZkNSuLqR707i3M8F0/s1600-h/All+the+world+is+a+stage.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 0pt 10px 10px; float: right; cursor: pointer; width: 124px; height: 124px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi447ARFVjxFV1YueAJgntGQ6tMLwC-GAwLFV8aDlkbUfdNhDSAILcDAKAYBW4kptBcQU2KIn-EpaMpUPYsUJlZ4EmC_yolZaLccTAj2KNVYHP4OWpfz8O-MqOil_ZkNSuLqR707i3M8F0/s200/All+the+world+is+a+stage.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5319724176225032114" border="0" /></a>We are a mere flicker in the span of cosmic time. From the words of Shakespeare's famous work,<br /><br />"<span style="font-style: italic;">All the world's a stage,</span> <span style="font-style: italic;">And all the men and women merely players;</span> <span style="font-style: italic;">They have their exits and their entrances...</span>"<br /><br />The point which I am trying to make is: <span style="font-weight: bold;">What is important in your life?</span><br /><br />This world will not last forever. Even if we were to discover the secret of eternal life, this world which we know as earth will not last forever. Even if you could accumulate a wealth of material items, it will all become meaningless at the end.<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh939S2fBo9Djc41tn8osxSq6wzZ2jKfWpd3thJkS0AiQlqNfribqaBODxRLlvsDjzfgxhbBwJHl2XGDMu8Ugf2fvPXqBvGlntRhCiv-xZpikbEAaMaw99ZCER7PhDiMTOi7TbP59ptPNk/s1600-h/loving+family.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 0pt 10px 10px; float: right; cursor: pointer; width: 143px; height: 200px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh939S2fBo9Djc41tn8osxSq6wzZ2jKfWpd3thJkS0AiQlqNfribqaBODxRLlvsDjzfgxhbBwJHl2XGDMu8Ugf2fvPXqBvGlntRhCiv-xZpikbEAaMaw99ZCER7PhDiMTOi7TbP59ptPNk/s200/loving+family.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5320505980564208962" border="0" /></a>If so, you will need to ask yourself the golden question, "<span style="font-style: italic;">What is important in my life?</span>" If you are able to answer this, then you might have stumbled onto a <u>small glimpse of that the meaning of life really is</u>.<br /><br />When i ask myself that very question, the answer is very clear to me. <u>My family and loved ones are the most important in my life</u>. They are the source of my happiness. In times of difficulty, they are the people whom i turn to and the people who i trust the most.<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgX68qvgCyVx7igNH3fUlNhFvwbmA4SgKQcyuGa-YLS5L5AL1_QwKYPvs0rllFqIZHVWQF9tXP4uNU4HECsWvKxtxHd0N-xWBJpKQImSPsEqDJI2wgGYh4y4R48LYPhXZ6G9qwiocChU80/s1600-h/loving+family+picture.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 0pt 10px 10px; float: right; cursor: pointer; width: 200px; height: 138px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgX68qvgCyVx7igNH3fUlNhFvwbmA4SgKQcyuGa-YLS5L5AL1_QwKYPvs0rllFqIZHVWQF9tXP4uNU4HECsWvKxtxHd0N-xWBJpKQImSPsEqDJI2wgGYh4y4R48LYPhXZ6G9qwiocChU80/s200/loving+family+picture.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5320506529074863346" border="0" /></a>Yet, often times, <span style="font-weight: bold;">many of us take our family and loved ones for granted</span>. We often prioritize stuff that are less important such as work or a television program, while neglecting that all important time that should be spent with our family and loved ones. We also tend to have less patience with our loved ones and get angry more easily.<br /><br />Am i saying that this is wrong, not really. What i want to highlight here the following:<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh60tJWVXWbA_zhxqwwGsBZinC5nS2Bx-vB-irlN33RZDGORn5lxNg7l_-a5_nubLEnGoTTgl9lBY26YdAyNK_y8IyDcjv5KJfOUB-YfPpNGYRC0FUYm7TumcXJPvG0H-pXf_lUtq8u0To/s1600-h/love.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 0pt 10px 10px; float: right; cursor: pointer; width: 150px; height: 200px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh60tJWVXWbA_zhxqwwGsBZinC5nS2Bx-vB-irlN33RZDGORn5lxNg7l_-a5_nubLEnGoTTgl9lBY26YdAyNK_y8IyDcjv5KJfOUB-YfPpNGYRC0FUYm7TumcXJPvG0H-pXf_lUtq8u0To/s200/love.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5320526038614049058" border="0" /></a>1) Our loved ones should be, and is one of the most important aspects of our lives<br />2) We often times take our loved ones for granted<br />3) We need to actively take the time and effort to improve our relationships with our loved ones.<br /><br />Take the time to talk and <a href="http://www.communicatebetter.blogspot.com/2008/08/give-honest-and-sincere-appreciation.html">show appreciation</a> to your family and loved ones. Use some of the <a href="http://www.communicatebetter.blogspot.com/2008/05/establishing-effective-communication.html">effective communication tips</a> as mentioned in the Better Interpersonal Communication blog. Remember, this world will not last forever, so what is really important in <span style="font-weight: bold;font-size:130%;" >your</span> life?<br /><br />If you enjoyed this post, don't forget to bookmark this blog, stumble this post or check out some of my other posts.<br /><br />Some guiding principles that will help you to find more meaning in life<br /><a href="http://communicatebetter.blogspot.com/2008/07/finding-meaning-in-your-life.html">Finding Meaning in Your Life</a>Wenbin Nahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11322971679501228480noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6446044284379382720.post-19524213365102432982009-03-21T18:25:00.005+08:002012-06-11T12:28:10.392+08:00Showing Appreciation with the Honest Scrap Award<span style="color: rgb(255, 204, 153);">'</span><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhX7wUtjsKAcsEn-IWQ_3NajpJ77EymCcCG_1cNjGJjnWmkL_fIxMpOpMQ8m6jb6iUkTNnufVYlmc_ruc4MWfZ6J7OMkPC2FcvqfgLb0HYKOuWbE2Ft1gizI-EBlp-wZ08tH5dUpaHGiUQ/s1600-h/Honest_Scrap.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 0pt 10px 10px; float: right; cursor: pointer; width: 155px; height: 152px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhX7wUtjsKAcsEn-IWQ_3NajpJ77EymCcCG_1cNjGJjnWmkL_fIxMpOpMQ8m6jb6iUkTNnufVYlmc_ruc4MWfZ6J7OMkPC2FcvqfgLb0HYKOuWbE2Ft1gizI-EBlp-wZ08tH5dUpaHGiUQ/s200/Honest_Scrap.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5315321962403398706" border="0" /></a><br />In a previous post, we've looked at <a href="http://www.communicatebetter.blogspot.com/2008/08/give-honest-and-sincere-appreciation.html">Giving Honest and Sincere Appreciation</a> and how it is essential in interpersonal communication.<br /><br />In this post, i will be showing my appreciation to bloggers that have enriched my life in some way or another.<br /><div><div><div><br />Firstly, i would like to show my appreciation to Rick from <a href="http://ricksworld411.blogspot.com/">Rick's World</a> for awarding me with the "<a href="http://ricksworld411.blogspot.com/2009/03/my-honest-scrap-award.html">Honest Scrap</a>" award.<br /><br />Rick's blog is filled with great writing and it is an honour to be nominated by him. As bloggers, we put in so much effort in our blogs and its lovely to be acknowledged for your work from time to time through nice gestures of appreciation such as what Rick has done.<br /><br />The requirements of this award are as follows:<br /><br />“This award is bestowed upon a fellow blogger whose blog’s content or design is, in the giver’s opinion, brilliant.”<br /><br />Again, quoting from Rick’s blog, here are the requirements:<br /><br />- When accepting this auspicious award, you must write a post bragging about it, including the name of the misguided soul who thinks you deserve such acclaim, and link back to the said person so everyone knows she/he is real.<br />- Choose a minimum of seven (7) blogs that you find brilliant in content or design. Or improvise by including bloggers who have no idea who you are because you don’t have seven friends. Show the seven random victims’ names and links and leave a harassing comment informing them that they were prized with Honest Weblog. Well, there’s no prize, but they can keep the nifty icon.<br />- List at least ten (10) honest things about yourself. Then pass it on!”<br /><br />Here are the ten honest things about myself<br /><br />1) I am a positive person<br />2) I believe in the power of positive thinking<br />3) I believe that we should all constantly try to improve oneself<br />4) I look towards the good in a person<br />5) I believe that generally speaking, each individual is inherently good on the inside<br />6) I have had my share of problems with other people<br />7) This has led me to realise the importance of interpersonal communication<br />8) I lead a blessed life with a caring family and a loving girlfriend<br />9) I enjoy watching the UFC and playing poker<br />10) I wish that the world could become an even better place for one and all.<br /><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg8SCTyDWoxKbc1bdkgF3Sp7X3sZwPVUJC4_sMIKKhi3HnuLe8YkJvkLQoxD-p7qEIYsiqrd5r-H_zohOGxPd3o8A0bBltddiWncRHOOlt73Jy_6UX2xa6C5zq0OFpE4QxKjCrrXDthZVo/s1600-h/communication+exchange.jpg"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5263319610264004370" style="margin: 0px 0px 10px 10px; float: right; width: 64px; height: 64px;" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg8SCTyDWoxKbc1bdkgF3Sp7X3sZwPVUJC4_sMIKKhi3HnuLe8YkJvkLQoxD-p7qEIYsiqrd5r-H_zohOGxPd3o8A0bBltddiWncRHOOlt73Jy_6UX2xa6C5zq0OFpE4QxKjCrrXDthZVo/s200/communication+exchange.jpg" border="0" /></a>The first blog that i would like to highlight would be <a href="http://www.communicationexchange.blogspot.com/">Communication Exchange</a> by Patricia Rockwell. As a former communications teacher, Patricia makes comprehensive posts about a wide range of communication related issues. She has been a constant supporter of my blog and I appreciate it very much.<br /><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgcH8PXjAAYfqFwsjxQtCeBczCd6e-ZHh6nv18W__sWzJ5K7PhW-u5HynrUwPq2hKesJP50AKKsyNY8ZjMTbdKBOqlGcVyGejIdmeSiOGY1PsnJaswdKP9lNVvwp0w1VZhyphenhyphenDmwUhCIr4mc/s1600-h/singapore.jpg"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5263323682662136322" style="margin: 0px 0px 10px 10px; float: right; width: 68px; height: 65px;" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgcH8PXjAAYfqFwsjxQtCeBczCd6e-ZHh6nv18W__sWzJ5K7PhW-u5HynrUwPq2hKesJP50AKKsyNY8ZjMTbdKBOqlGcVyGejIdmeSiOGY1PsnJaswdKP9lNVvwp0w1VZhyphenhyphenDmwUhCIr4mc/s200/singapore.jpg" border="0" /></a>Next, I would like to highlight CK from <a href="http://singaporeaninlondon.blogspot.com/">A Singaporean in London</a>. An active blogger with a huge following on the blog-o-sphere. His blog is filled with interesting insights from a Singaporean living in London. Coincidentally i might be going there later this year. Hope to meet up sometime.<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiw9qc1Yl1sbuNEiSWJxTP4xSS6ZG9fAmY69pSZHsgzuCW8jQtVzfXcKjD8qw78CIGv-QiDXiA5ibQxTDiv19Xa7Uk8n_ajxq_A-5ePC5BWHtJ3kKC56bX5eCIIZy6aY9TJtgfgqNW4pp8/s1600-h/lazy+bear.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 0pt 10px 10px; float: right; cursor: pointer; width: 66px; height: 66px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiw9qc1Yl1sbuNEiSWJxTP4xSS6ZG9fAmY69pSZHsgzuCW8jQtVzfXcKjD8qw78CIGv-QiDXiA5ibQxTDiv19Xa7Uk8n_ajxq_A-5ePC5BWHtJ3kKC56bX5eCIIZy6aY9TJtgfgqNW4pp8/s200/lazy+bear.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5315311350180878786" border="0" /></a>The next blog that i would like to highlight is by Kerrilee, entitled <a href="http://www.lazybearblogs.com/">Lazy Bear Blogs</a>. I really like the design of this site. The fact that it has comprehensive articles makes the blog all that much greater!<br /><br /><div>Next, i would like to highlight Monica's blog <a href="http://mysignsoflife.today.com/">mysignsoflife</a>. Her old catchphrase on her blog used to read "Did anybody tell you they loved you today?" which was extremely meaningful. It has since evolved to become "The Truly Educated Never Graduate ~ Thoughts on Living, Loving, Learning, Attitude & Gratitude…" Interesting posts, well worth checking out!<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjW5dpVu0cSXi_RmQHt09bDlutdG0bHWUOpdE8y1RwCAOwz87EIZ61HdtoKJo3Ej1504yg6dg4SxLOwjrnMv5G0_3RIgbglyiPzEhonWbuHbCqZ_IbYhyphenhyphenLB6d89YcPkPWVyVTctOvfbi8o/s1600-h/health.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 0pt 10px 10px; float: right; cursor: pointer; width: 63px; height: 63px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjW5dpVu0cSXi_RmQHt09bDlutdG0bHWUOpdE8y1RwCAOwz87EIZ61HdtoKJo3Ej1504yg6dg4SxLOwjrnMv5G0_3RIgbglyiPzEhonWbuHbCqZ_IbYhyphenhyphenLB6d89YcPkPWVyVTctOvfbi8o/s200/health.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5315321536778617106" border="0" /></a><a href="http://healthnutwannabeemom.blogspot.com/">Health Nut Wannabe Mom</a> is a blog by Heidi that is about health nutrition and weight loss tips. It is such a great blog that in the last week, it has been the recipient of the "Heart and Soul" award awarded to blogs that have touched that person. Truely a great blog.<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgsJTZ6WHuMxJC_bRpKxefO3lhlz9_J9D9Os08-Cp4ihSQ6F6CS2mhEIwSYTHhi_IKellg4RphM2kpPkPTPZ9wiLL5EXS5oEkSKp4xU-p5o2HpBWpWFurcP8vOJ5qa_YhZB811VONbKNA4/s1600-h/discipline.png"><img style="margin: 0pt 0pt 10px 10px; float: right; cursor: pointer; width: 62px; height: 62px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgsJTZ6WHuMxJC_bRpKxefO3lhlz9_J9D9Os08-Cp4ihSQ6F6CS2mhEIwSYTHhi_IKellg4RphM2kpPkPTPZ9wiLL5EXS5oEkSKp4xU-p5o2HpBWpWFurcP8vOJ5qa_YhZB811VONbKNA4/s200/discipline.png" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5315583829255272930" border="0" /></a><a href="http://disciplineorregret.com/">Discipline or Regret</a> is Andrew Scott's quest to achieve a fitter and healthier life. I enjoy the concept of his blog tremendously as i feel very strongly that life is all about discipline or regret. It takes discipline to do the right thing so as to avoid the regret that will follow. Its all about resisting the temptations of short term gains to achieve the long term benefits.<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhii_oCF7MEmLV1jCc8gVUZWmGFJcNDjpnTaeLI36C0XcDiSK9LE7_C6OJ0zJL5M0wy45S1EumkAN32Q12RMgj8rSP3gr4hbmk2ux_fioVcfNEcUQUgXTr0F3kG7HIZcTntZc68UInC4jM/s1600-h/womenselfesteem.png"><img style="margin: 0pt 0pt 10px 10px; float: right; cursor: pointer; width: 63px; height: 63px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhii_oCF7MEmLV1jCc8gVUZWmGFJcNDjpnTaeLI36C0XcDiSK9LE7_C6OJ0zJL5M0wy45S1EumkAN32Q12RMgj8rSP3gr4hbmk2ux_fioVcfNEcUQUgXTr0F3kG7HIZcTntZc68UInC4jM/s200/womenselfesteem.png" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5315585259169941602" border="0" /></a><a href="http://selfesteemblogforwomen.blogspot.com/">Womensselfesteem.com</a>'s Blog is a blog by Dorothy that talks about womens self-esteem and confidence. Her blog is filled with lovely pictures and positive thoughts. Just lovely!!!<br /><br />Help to make the world a better place by spreading some love!!!<br /></div></div></div></div>Wenbin Nahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11322971679501228480noreply@blogger.com7