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Wednesday, June 13, 2012

Book Review: Changing Behavior: Immediately Transform Your Relationships with Easy-to-Learn, Proven Communication Skills

Title: Changing Behavior: Immediately Transform Your Relationships with Easy-to-Learn, Proven Communication Skills
Author: Georgianna Donadio

Content: 8.5/10
It offers a practical step-by-step guide, supported by research and proven strategies to enable readers to develop a much more meaningful and effective communication relationship with the people they desire to improve their current relationships with.

Readability: 8/10
The 12 steps of Pure Presence is written in an easy-to-understand manner so that readers can pick up and acquire the skills easily to improve the quality of their communication skills.

Overall Ranking 16.5/20
Overall, Changing Behavior is a good read that offers important and timely advice for people who desire to bring transformation to their relationships, health and happiness as whole.

At the heart of Changing Behavior is the revolutionary Behavioural Engagement™ model. Developed over the last 30 years in partnership with leading hospitals and medical centers, Behavioural Engagement is the first known whole person health education and health behaviour change model developed, tested and utilized in a clinical setting.

Here is a summary on how to apply the Behavioral Engagement model with pure presence:

Step 1: Be fully and purely present - Remove any forms of distraction prior to the conversation and focus only on entering into a meaningful and effective communication with another person by being receptive, non-judgemental and fully present throughout the entire communication.

Step 2: Be physically comfortable and relaxed - Adopt an upright and centred sitting posture to enable you and the other person to be relaxed and thereby assist you in remaining in pure presence throughout the communication.

Step 3: Constant eye contact – Maintaining a constant eye contact with the other person can create a physical response in the latter that brings about trust, comfort and safety.

Step 4: Check your intention – It is recommended to keep your intention or views open, centered and non-judgemental. This will prevent you to trigger that particular emotion or ego from surfacing which cause the conversation s to go off track.

Step 5: Listen with understanding - Initiate a conversation with a respectful inquiry with the other person and seek to listen attentively without disruption while the latter respond to your inquiry.

Step 6: Be responsive without injecting – It is ok to node your head, give eyebrow gestures and short responses such as “thanks”, “ah-ha” and so forth to allow the other person continue this talking. It is however not wise to probe, ask questions or interrupt at the wrong juncture.

Step 7: Accept the silence between words – Throughout the conversation, there is surely to have moments of short silence between words. During this time of silence, we can visit our subconscious mind and integrate this with our thinking process.

Step 8: Be patient with yourself and the other person 
It takes time for people to notice and accept that you do not have an agenda or you are not going to judged them or give advice or suggestions.

Step 9: Be honest with your conversation objective 
It is important to have a pure presence intention when entering into a conversation as your intention will become your agenda. By practising this pure presence intention, it will perfect your being-in-the present skills to strengthen your communication skills and relationships.

Step 10: Use of “I” statements to convey your feelings – Using “I” statements to express your feelings will enable us to own what we feel and thereby showing respect for the other person’s experience.

Step 11: Allow for discovery – One of the transformational components of Behavioural Engagement™ model is that if you remain true to the model ad stay in your pure presence center, you will make discoveries that will bring about emotional shifts and behavioural change in you. As our behaviours shift, we will achieve a more sustainable change that can have positive long-term results in our lives and relationships.

Step 12: Keep trying to perfect your skills – Even if you experience some frustrating moments and mind wander during a conversation, you can begin again with the next conversation. It is crucial to be committed t improve the quality of communication in your relationship.

In summary, Changing Behavior is a good read that offers important and timely advice for people who desire to bring transformation to their relationships, health and happiness as whole. It offers excellent tips, substantiated by research. It also asks questions to reflect the points back at you. If you are interested in finding out more, do check out the Amazon.com page for more reviews.


Peter J. said...

I think these are greats steps and good advice for those wanted better communication. Eye contact, being physically comfortable and relaxed, and being patient have to be the most important three for me. Eye contact and physical comfort are just a body language thing and no one wants to talk to someone who either isn't paying attention or looks tense. And it's important to be laid back and not jump to the conclusion otherwise you're not communicating, just asking for or suggesting something, which means no one will want to communicate in the future.

Unknown said...

Very good and informative content on Communication concept, Clearly explain the guidelines of Good Communication skills. I would like to see more updates on communication skills , I found more relative content on your.Keep updated in the same way.Regards,Sanya Communication skills