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Saturday, August 2, 2008

How to Win Friends and Influence People

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"Any fool can criticize, condemn, and complain but it takes character and self control to be understanding and forgiving." -- Dale Carnegie

You've probably heard of the book, "How to Win Friends and Influence People" by Dale Carnege.

After all, it has sold 15 million copies globally since it was first published in 1937, influencing an entire generation of self help books.

Something that is so successful has to contain something special.

As such, here is a summary of Dale Carnege's book entitled
"How to Win Friends and Influence People"

Part One
Fundamental Techniques in Handling People

1. Don't criticize, condemn or complain.
2. Give honest and sincere appreciation.
3.Arouse in the other person an eager want.

Part Two
Six ways to make people like you

2. Smile.
3. Remember that a person's name is to that person the sweetest and most important sound in any language.
4. Be a good listener. Encourage others to talk about themselves.
5. Talk in terms of the other person's interests.
6. Make the other person feel important - and do it sincerely.

Part Three
Win people to your way of thinking

1. The only way to get the best of an argument is to avoid it.
2. Show respect for the other person's opinions. Never say, "You're wrong."
3. If you are wrong, admit it quickly and emphatically.
4. Begin in a friendly way.
5. Get the other person saying "yes, yes" immediately.
6. Let the other person do a great deal of the talking.
7. Let the other person feel that the idea is his or hers.
8. Try honestly to see things from the other person's point of view.
9. Be sympathetic with the other person's ideas and desires.
10. Appeal to the nobler motives.
11. Dramatize your ideas.
12. Throw down a challenge.

Part Four
Be a Leader: How to Change People Without Giving Offense or Arousing Resentment

1. Begin with praise and honest appreciation.
2. Call attention to people's mistakes indirectly.
3. Talk about your own mistakes before criticizing the other person.
4. Ask questions instead of giving direct orders.
5. Let the other person save face.
6. Praise the slightest improvement and praise every improvement. Be "hearty in your approbation and lavish in your praise."
7. Give the other person a fine reputation to live up to.
8. Use encouragement. Make the fault seem easy to correct.
9. Make the other person happy about doing the thing you suggest.


If you seek tips on improving interpersonal communication skills, this is it! I will be elaborating more about these words of wisdom in future blog posts, so stay tuned.

If you are interested, you can check out Dale Carnegie's book on Amazon here. Alternatively, you may also consider checking out the audiobook version of this book for easy listening from Amazon here.

If you enjoyed this post, don't forget to subscribe or bookmark it! :)

8 comments:

Anonymous said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Guttu said...

I follow many of these. And I never read it anywhere. Really good post on Friendship day.

yaniiaren said...

I think what you write is very informative and I really enjoy the reads. I will check out these books at amazon later.

Michael said...

Cool. Thanks for the nice tips. Might check out the audiobook version. Hate reading, love listening.

Patricia Rockwell said...

Wenbin,
I am giving you one of those travelling awards--it's the Brillante Weblog Premio-2008 award. You can pick it up later today at my site.

Congrats!

Prodinterios said...

This is quite helpful^^
I am not so good at making friends, I have a hard time fitting in, in some environments..

I am giving this a thumbs up, a digg and love lol

Thanks for sponsoring My Birthday Bash Contest again^^

To fellow readers, Want to win over 3750EC and a couple of ads? check out http://www.prodinterios.com/2008/08/my-birthday-bash-contest.html

mspennylane said...

Another very useful post, I will be bookmarking this one. Thanks!

Anupam said...

Hi ,

First of all I would like to commend you you on the very exhaustive eview/summary you have given for this popular book.I really like this book as well. But when it comes to practicing one thing..genuinely liking other people..it is a problem,a nd I can't fake it. I like to be open about my thoughts/feelings about others. Would you have any suggestions for me?

Anupam