--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- [..HOME..][..TOP POSTS..][..NEW DROP LIST..][..LINKS..][..ADVERTISE..]

Saturday, May 16, 2009

Talk in terms of the other person's interests

In Dale Carnegie's international best seller, How to Win Friends and Influence People, we have seen how we can become more likable by Become Genuinely Interested in Other People.

In this post, we will build upon this post by exploring the aspect of talking in terms of the other person's interests.

To be successful in relationships, a person will need to learn to talk in terms of the other person's interests. This rule holds true in many instances from social situations where you are meeting someone for the very first time, to married couples.

We cannot achieve this if we have no idea what the other person truly values, cares about or is really interested in.

Let the other person do most of the talking by asking questions and them listening to them actively and connecting with them at the level of what they value. You should have a genuine interest in the other person. Then, and only then, can you sincerely talk in terms of the other person’s interest.

Similarly, this piece of advice even holds true when giving a speech: The speech isn’t about you. It isn’t even about your expertise. It’s about your audience and how they can benefit from what you say.

According to Howard Z. Herzig, a leader in the field of employee communications, talking in terms of the other person's interests pays off for both parties. When you take the time and effort to find out what interests the person you are speaking to, the reward will be an enlargement of your life each time you speak to someone.

You've probably heard of the Golden Rule, which is "Do unto others as you would have them do unto you." Why not apply this rule to the area of interpersonal communication? Author Tony Allesandra has come up with the Platinum Rule, which is "Treat others the way they want to be treated." This is an important rule that can help guide the way in which you treat others.

This article is one of the six ways to make people like you as mentioned in Dale Carnegie's book How to Win Friends and Influence People. If you enjoyed this post, do bookmark this post or subscribe to this blog.

If you like this article, you might also enjoy

Fundamental Techniques in Handling People
1. Don't criticize, condemn or complain.
2. Give honest and sincere appreciation.
3. Arouse in the other person an eager want.

Six ways to make people like you

2. Smile.
3. Remember that a person's name is to that person the sweetest and most important sound in any language.
4. Be a good listener. Encourage others to talk about themselves.


Margaret said...

These are all tried and true methods of engaging people.

I truly believe that we have lost the ability to listen to each other effectively. My husband and I are always *thinking* the other said something we didn't say and it's getting confusing :lol:

Interpersonal Communication Skills said...

This is so true. Everyone enjoys talking about themselves and things they like, so talking in terms of other people's interest is a big step in building relationships

L. Venkata Subramaniam said...

It is hard to meet someone who is not interested in only themselves. We live in a selfish and egoistic world.

Anonymous said...

Sorry for my bad english. I would like to get updated with you new posts as I love to read your blog. Add me to your mailing list if you have any.